The Closet

2012-02-05T08:09:00.000-08:00

There's an article in the opinion section of the New York Times about Change.org today. If you're unfamiliar with the site, it's worth a few moments just to see what it does. Here's a link to a few of the issues I have supported. It's an easy way to take some sort of action to support issues you happen to agree with.

Lonely Island in the Classroom

2012-01-09T17:58:00.000-08:00

So I showed the video for Lonely Island's song "Threw It On The Ground" in class on Friday. My friend and collegue Shawn Fitzgerald suggested the song would be an interesting way to introduce Transcendentalism to teenagers. Some of the song's more memorable refrains came back to me: "You can't trust the system" & "I'm not a part of this system." My love for the Transcendentalists is tempered with an awareness that at their worst, they remind me of petulant, pretentious hipsters. After watching the video I asked my students to get out a piece of paper and make two columns: "label one column 'Stuff I Throw on the Ground' and the second column 'Stuff I Don't Throw.'" I hoped to get them to think about Thoreau's message to "Simplify, Simplify, Simplify," and didn't want to come across as either preachy or pretentious, so we started with the objects mentioned in the video.

1) The Energy Drink. I made sure that they understood I was not an energy drink prude: I had tried Red Bull and Full Throttle, and Monster. The former two made me feel like a shooting star (and not in a good way), while I've always appreciated the crushed Smarties taste of the lattermost (in small doses). I related a tale of driving back late from Columbus and picking up a 16oz. Monster. After choking it down, the oncoming headlights of approaching cars were drawn into startling focus, and I could see my heart beat. We finally decided that Energy Drinks represent Trends. Do we need trends? Most felt they made life more interesting but decided they weren't necessary for survival. One brave soul may have suggested that trends encourage Groupthink. Most chose to list Energy Drinks in the Stuff I Throw on the Ground column. Catchphrase: "Pump that garbage in another man's veins."

2) The Hot Dog. We decided the hotdog could represent processed foods. I asked them whether or not it would be possible to live without canned and processed food. The Rural Kids immediately shook their head yes, and didn't blink when the group suggested getting a few goats, chickens and a rototiller. The Urban Kids pointed out that people in the city don't have the space for goats and chickens, etc. Someone pointed out how raising your own food isn't going to simplify your life, just your diet. We all agreed it's easier to walk into a Circle K and grab a hot dog and a Polar Pop than it is to milk goats. Ultimately it's easy to agree that hot dogs are high in fat and salt and have the preservative sodium nitrate, believed to cause cancer. Most chose to list Hot Dogs in the Stuff I Throw on the Ground column. Catchphrase: "You can't buy me hot dog man."

3) The Cell Phone. It was interesting how attached to their cell phones teenagers proved to be. All four of my American Literature classes (Juniors between the ages of 16 & 17) decided the cell phone goes in the column Stuff I Don't Throw. They were not willing to debate much. Even when I challenged them with living in Thoreau like austerity, they opted to keep the cell phones. I have a cell phone myself. It is not a smart phone, and it does not have a keyboard, so maybe I'm not the most apt referee for this conversation, but I have overheard some of my students admit their cell phone bill is over a hundred dollars a month. Is it wrong that I kind of want to throw it on the ground for them? Who knows, maybe we'll all have the Internet in our brains sooner than I thought. Catchphrase: "My dad's not a phone. Duh!"

4) Birthday Cake. We decided the birthday cake represents tradition. When posed with the question "If you were going out to live in the woods for two years two months, would you need to celebrate birthdays?" garnered a few responses involving Jehovah Witnesses. As far as tradition in general, it was decided that most traditions are not necessary for survival, but make life bearable. Most classes elected not to throw birthday cake on the ground. Catchphrase: "Welcome to the real world, jackass."

5) Hollywood Phonies. Every class elected to throw Hollywood on the ground. Some boys wanted to keep Megan Fox, but throw everyone else and then the conversation became centered around whether or not Megan Fox was hot or not. Catchphrase: "Nobody wants your autograph. Phonies!"

The conversation went from there to some big topics like School, Law, Family, Religion and Tasering buttholes. Every class elected not to throw these big ones on the ground, although my 8th period was very, very close to a majority on throwing School on the ground.

We ended the exercise talking about the idea that though the majority vote ended up on the Smartboard, each individual's list was just a little different, and I challenged them to add some more personal items to their own lists.

Verdict: I would use this video again to instigate what became a meaningful conversation about what we cannot live without. It was topical, not too serious, and fun. Thanks Lonely Island, and thanks, Shawn, for the idea.

Rubrics in the Creative Writing Classroom II

2011-12-03T18:31:00.000-08:00

I've always been amused by the idea of a rubric for fiction writing partly because I would have liked to have had one when I first started writing stories, and partly because I know it wouldn't have a made a whole lot of difference. Once upon a time I posted my fiction writing rubric on this blog. It was a conglomerate of practical and impractical advice stolen from both Kurt Vonnegut and Stephen King. I don't think it was very good. I'll go ahead and post a revised version here that I hope is more practical. The idea is that a student reads a book and feels inspired to write something of their own. Here's how I attempt to grade such goings on in my world:

Oh(io) What a Night

2011-11-09T17:23:00.000-08:00

Imagine a tall building. It is a monument of human striving, yet the process of its composition oppressed many human lives. Drag butt, cigarette ass, sawdust memoirs. Concrete drying the spit from our mouths. Steel beams are not bones. They're better.

Or are they?

I think I've been away from the city for so long that I've grown a phobia. The last time I remember being in the city that city was Akron, Ohio, and I was reading (for the first time) the opening lines of Hermann Hesse's Peter Camanzind while driving. I paused long enough to let the opening lines set in, and, taking my eyes from the road long enough to peer up at the GoJo building almost ran over a Canadian goose that had wandered out into the road. For some reason the whole incident struck me as so absurd I've never forgotten it.

Yesterday at the polls I looked with admiration at my mud streaked truck parked next to an errant Harley. The Harley was one of those gratuitous jobs with the fringe and everything, my truck being an ultra-sexy black Ram struck alongside me as some kind of working man's chorus of unspoken tenor, a heathen's litany, the local baseball field named after a local person of note, the guy with long hair, an unscrubbed farmer-philosopher, a time traveler, a San Francisco refugee speaking into someone's open window about some idea, the idea that we should all be able to agree on healthcare, and that it's something we need to support at a state level (why not?). Inside, working the polls, was the woman from whom we bought our house, a single book on a shelf: Laura Bush's autobiography. A scrofulous Paul off work as some I.T. guy in the dungeons of steam.

Afterward the meat store, Ohio's largest meat market, a black family: man and woman and two small girls smelling of hash, hugging over the butcher's counter. The shiny pork livers and blood sausage, the smell, according to one cashier "of straight shit" in the air. A wonder manure. A wonderful manner.

Home, nervous. The washed truck, well earned muck scrubbed from quarter panels, Windex on the wheels, Armour All, Amour All, Issue 2 results on the laptop while my son seeks me from footie pajamas, daddy is in the front yard moving the burn barrel, no need for it now, save the STRIKE for another day.

Fantasy Class: Stephen King

2011-11-01T17:18:00.000-07:00

Why does he rock so hard in those purple Converse, elastic-cinched-waist jacket and creeper-stache? This is just a sketch of a course that I've always thought would be one of my life's work as a teacher of literature. He's always been there for me as Constant Writer and this would be my preferred way of giving back as Constant Teacher.

Our staple texts would be On Writing, Duma Key, Lisey's Story, Misery, The Shining, Night Shift, and Carrie. I would be tempted to include the complete Dark Tower Series on the syllabus, but I think it would discourage interesting people from taking the class while encouraging maybe the wrong kind of people (i.e. those who think they already know everything there is to know) to sign up. As a compromise I would make constant references to the books with the hope of intriguing (if not shaming) those who have not read them to do so.

We'd have to start with On Writing to establish the man's story, and in part his aesthetic, though I think his works speak to that better than anything he says in On Writing.

Next, we'd move on to Night Shift, speficially the following stories, which I think all have the earmarks of the blue collar society in which King was raised:

"Graveyard Shift" Hall strikes me as a character close to Stephen King's heart: a "college boy" trying to make it in the world of blue-collar folks. Hall's latent obsession with the macabre is an obvious tribute to King's own dangerous aesthetic. In this story it leads to his death; in King's life, the terms were different, but the stakes were the same.

"The Mangler" is a fun piece colored by Ruth Pillsbury King's experience working a machine much like the one that becomes possessed by a demon in the story.

"The Boogeyman" boasts a narrator that is socially backward when it comes to the defining cultural themes of King's generation: namely the quest for greater civil rights for both women and blacks. I get the impression King got a lot of pleasure out of torturing this guy.

"Grey Matter" if only for the Maine dialect. This piece is a masterwork of voice. It also comments on alcoholism, a demon King himself was fighting.

"Sometimes They Come Back" is, I think, a comment on King's days behind a desk. More on this in Carrie .

"The Man who Loved Flowers" only because it proves you don't have to be gory to tell a horror story. In this case King describes the mania of a hammer-murderer without mentioning a single drop of blood. He also uses a pretty nifty bait and switch to get the effect of the surprise ending.

I'd probably stop with these stories, but would be tempted to include: "The Ledge" a brilliant suspense piece that seems to deal with class issues, "Strawberry Spring" for offering a brilliant take on the wicked Poe's unreliable narrator, and "Quitters, Inc." for just being really frigging fun.

We'd move on to Carrie in conjunction with the section in On Writing that corresponds with the writing of the piece. I find it fascinating that King's wife encouraged her husband to write a book based on the merits of a scene like the one found in the opening pages of this novel. The resulting conversations may be awkward, but I think this book was ahead of its time given the Columbine phenomenon and our heightened "bully" radar. Maybe we'd come to see it as a cautionary tale. Who knows?

The Shining and Misery would have to function as a kind of unconscious autobiography during King's darker days of substance abuse and his life-long fear that there may be something truly and inescapably damaged in his psyche.

I see Duma Key and Lisey's Story (and to a certain extent Insomnia) as autobiographical during the days after he kicked drugs and alcohol and after the near death experience of being hit by a van.

Fantasy Class: Cormac McCarthy

2011-10-28T18:23:00.000-07:00

Punk everyone out the first day by calling The Road Cormac McCarthy for Dummies. "You didn't actually think we'd read an Oprah book in here, did you?"

The Border Trilogy. My favorite is The Crossing, but you need all three. All the Pretty Horses might attract female students to the class, which would be a necessity. An all-guys McCarthy class would consist of smatterings of sparse dialogue, a mysterious aroma of whiskey, a lot of whisker stroking, and everyone would smoke and look out the window for a long time.

Suttree. There's nothing like getting kicked out of your estranged son's funeral. Well, maybe waking crusted in your own vomit. Many of McCarthy's characters wake to find themselves crusted in various bodily fluids. Suggest that someone write a theme paper about it.

Blood Meridian. Suggest someone perform an interpretive dance inspired by The Judge. Give extra credit to the student with the largest scar. Challenge them to cut something's head off and bring it in for show and tell. Give vocabulary quizzes until someone cries.

No Country for Old Men. Spend an entire month making them read Yeats' A Vision even though it's not on the course syllabus. Whenever students complain stay very calm and unfold your pocket knife. Pick your fingernails and ask them if they'd like to file a complaint with the department chair. Deem at least one student "The Hunchback."

Fantasy Class: Non Fiction

2011-10-26T18:21:00.000-07:00

When teaching public high school has me down I fantasize about courses I'd like to teach given the ideal students, resources, and amount of time. I always feel kind of sleazy when I do this. I'm not sure why.

I've read a lot of good non-fiction lately, so I have been fantasizing about writing a non fiction course outline. The class would be designed around getting the students to find expression for their own stories. I once saw a cluster of video diaries that a teacher had inspired his students to create. These were all really cool and artsy and highlighted the constrictive nature of being human while offering glimmers of hope, so in my fantasy all of my students will create really arty video diaries.

The reading material is what got me thinking in the first place, so I might as well name drop of bunch of books I'll probably never get to teach.

Non-Fiction books about Work

Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain. I think this is a memoir. It is mostly about working as a chef. I'm not even sure if it would be ethical to teach this book, but it's my fantasy, so I guess I don't really care if it's ethical or not.

On Writing by Stephen King. After listening to this in my car a couple dozen times over the past ten years I can recite entire passages from memory. The narrative has so permeated my mind that I've tried to imitate it in writing... without really knowing I was trying. Scary.

Working by Studs Terkel. I love this book. It is one of the great un-hailed masterpieces of its day. And in my fantasy we'd read ALL of it. Not just the interview with the prostitute.

Non-Fiction about Coming of Age

Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt. I feel about Angela's Ashes the way young Frank feels about Shakespeare: reading passages out loud is like having rubies in your mouth.

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls . This one is still fresh in my mind as I finished it not three days ago. It would, I think, begin to round out the "growing up" section of the course with a female voice. Plus it's a hell of a read.

Ham on Rye by Charles Bukowski. Again, I know of no one with the cojones to teach Bukowski. In my fantasy, I have the cojones. Besides, this book is a great memoir. It's kind of heartbreaking while managing to be funnier than hell.

Non-Fiction on Old Age

A Movable Feast by Ernest Hemingway. One of my proudest achievements in life is having read all of Hemingway. This one is unique, and a lot of fun to picture the big guy doing his thing. It is retrospective, hence the old age thing.

Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. If you think it's Lifetime movie material you're also one of those people who think Harry Potter is just for kids and I don't want you in my class anyway.

Supplementals

Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure by SMITH magazine. These are like popcorn, okay?

I'll supplement the reading with in-class writing drills and lengthier out of class writing assignments. There would be a workshop or two.

Anyway this is just a draft that I will probably obsessively come back and edit (12-4-11...there are probably errors regardless), like all of my posts, so if you're pissed I didn't mention your favorite book, it's probably because I haven't read it. Drop me a line.

The Short List

2011-10-10T17:47:00.000-07:00

Things I Know:

Yeungling tasted better when I thought they didn't want to give it to us because of the Browns / Steelers rivalry.

Some guys have all the luck.

Dead leaves smell better than live ones.

Some guys have all the pain.

Cats demand the perfect amount of attention from me.

Some guys get all the breaks.

Old stuff, generally, is cooler than new stuff.

Some guys do nothing but complain.

Wednesday's Lesson Plan

2011-09-27T20:09:00.000-07:00

Given a month of priming, what's wrong with posting, at 8:20am, "Write with cautious optimism in a way that is creatively satisfying," stepping back and getting out of their way?

How to Become the Kind of Jerk Teacher that Gives Pop-Quizes Over Reading Assignments

2011-09-13T19:09:00.000-07:00

Admit that your students have more interesting things to do than read a five page description of clouds from Peter Camanzind. Don't become bitter and admonish them for being a generation of You Tubers with the attention span of goldfish. Or gnats. Bottle up your rage when they look at you like unthinking, unfeeling automations. Ignore the fact that they are still bleary eyed from having worked the night shift at the kind of restaurant where one's feet may, more often than not, stick to the floor. It is at 9:47 pm when you will loose this rage in the form of esoteric multiple choice questions. You will print the questions on the back of old driving directions because you are too proud to steal paper from work. Wield this quiz as if it were a cudgel or some other cruelly blunt object. Sleep with satisfaction knowing that you are singlehandedly vindicating the poor, neglected snow-globe that is modern literature in public schools. Have a dream in which you knock Shakespeare's books out of his hands and make fun of his goatee.

“How to Become a Writer” Name_______________________________

Pop-Quiz

1. Why does the narrator’s mother prefer to wear the color brown?

a) It complements her dead husband’s eyes

b) Trick question. She actually prefers orange.

c) It is the color of her skin.

d) It hides spots.

2. The narrator writes what spiteful quip beneath her English teacher’s comments?

“plots are for dead people, __________ face.”

a) Horse

b) Fart

c) Doughnut

d) Pore

3. Instead of a bird-watching class, the narrator finds herself enrolled in:

a) Creative Writing

b) Underwater Basket Weaving

c) Dermatology

d) Child Psychology

4. Find the only plot the narrator has not admitted having written:

a) A man and woman have their lower torsos blitzed away by dynamite and with the insurance money they open a frozen yogurt stand together.

b) A tale of monomania in the fish-eat-fish world of insurance sales staring the menopausal suburban husband “Mopey Dick”

c) A woman accidentally severs her boyfriend’s head with a malfunctioning laser pointer and, with the insurance settlement, has it put on ice for when she is elderly and alone.

d) A married couple stumble upon an unknown landmine in their kitchen and accidentally blow one another to pieces: called “For Better or Liverwurst.”

5. In what terms, unfortunately, does the narrator come to judge all new people?

a) Some like to dip their food into white substances while some do not.

b) Some have a great sense of humor while some have no sense of humor.

c) Some are smarter than her while some are dumber than her.

d) Some wonder where dust comes from, while some do not.

Extra Credit

The expression “face as blank as a ___________ “ is used three times in “How to Become a Writer,” in which Lorrie Moore compares a blank face to what three specific objects?

Adrift

2011-09-08T15:59:00.000-07:00

For some reason more than ever I feel adrift in an ocean of information. Writing has always helped me feel more centered. On occasion playing the guitar does it as well. Sitting in a circle with the kids I teach and carrying on a conversation in which everyone is present and turned on does it too. Driving without a destination sometimes helps and sometimes makes it worse. Buying things online or in a store has worked. I wish more activities could lend this kind of focus to my life. Reading used to, but now it seems as if I'm just dipping my big nose into other worlds of information. I made a movie from some footage of friends playing disc golf, and putting that together was a mild form of what I'm trying to describe.

I'm still trying to finish Salinger's biography, which seems like a bunch of information. Mary Oliver's poetry can be soothing. Gertrude Stein's writing on Picasso is nearly indiscernible for some reason.

In the meantime I entered a few contests. They are Rattle's poetry contest, and the Norman Mailer writing award for high school teachers. I usually care way too much about these kinds of things.

I've attached a picture Wyatt took.

Summer 2011

2011-08-04T20:45:00.000-07:00

Random things that don't suck about this summer:
Swimming
My Truck
Friends
Chainsaws
Stray Cats named "Rabbit"
Reading Poetry
Graduation Parties
Disc Golf
Raspberries
Barefoot Skateboarding
Hungarian Sausage

The Thought of Apes Taking Over

Random things that kind of suck about this summer:
Mini-Van Prices
Mowing Three Acres
Weeding
Strange Noises Coming From My Truck
Japanese Beetles
Sweat
Scrapping That Old Stove
Rainy Days
The Thought of Apes Taking Over

Random things that totally suck about this summer:
Dusty Guitar
Unfinished Book Project
Trimming The Ditch
Motor Oil On My Shorts

Bukowski (sort of) for Toddlers

2011-06-24T09:01:00.000-07:00

The Robot and the Bluebird by David Lucas is, as Publisher's Weekly pointed out, more apt to work on adults than on kids. The story goes that a robot's mechanical heart is broken, and he lies despondent on a junk heap day and night. It is here that in winter he meets a bluebird, struggling to fly south. Of course he suggests that the bluebird live in the empty place where his heart used to be, and the robot uses his remaining strength to walk south to a more temperate climate. Releasing the bluebird from his chest is his dying act, and his husk becomes a refuge for birds of all shapes, colors and sizes.

This story kind of pulled on my heartstrings. Just a little bit. I found out it's apt to appeal to dads more than moms when I read aloud the last page and my wife glared at the book with disgust. Wyatt was indifferent to the book. I seemed to be the only one upon whom the story was working. "So he died?" my wife mouths over Wyatt's head. I shake my head "yes."

In my mind the death and sacrifice in the story isn't any more extreme than The Giving Tree. I suppose the robot makes this a guy book. I suppose it may also have to do with the fact that I thought of "Bluebird" by Charles Bukowski, a very guy-macho poem, which probably won't be suitable bedtime reading until Wyatt's six. Maybe seven.

Children's Book Review: Cause and Effect... continued

2011-06-08T05:33:00.000-07:00

If you don't know who Scaredy Squirrel is, your life lacks color, meaning... and probably a three year old. Scaredy Squirrel at Night by Melanie Watt is a very cute story tackling one of the toughest topics a parent can face: nightmares. I can remember laying in bed as a kid dreaming up all kinds of nonsense at three a.m. the voices in my head screaming away, and irrational fears winning the day... or night, that is. Wyatt's always seem to involve spiders. Scaredy is, of course, scared of a whole slew of different creatures, so he decides to stay up all night by undertaking a variety of hobbies, such as scrap booking.

The book includes some of the real life side effects of sleeplessness, such as poor reflexes, moodiness, and hallucinations. He has read in his horoscope (he's a Libra) that at midnight, all of his dreams will come true, so he begins his Bad Dream Plan Action Plan (see below). His plan involves a spotlight, cupcakes, banana peel, fire extinguisher, safety cones, fan, molasses, decoy, pillow and blanket, and teddy bear. The Plan will repudiate all of Scaredy's most feared creatures, and had me wondering how they will work together to tell a story.

The Plan, in a cruel twist of fate, involves hungry raccoons (they were drawn in by the cupcakes and molasses; their shadows looked very monster-like because of the spotlight) and Scaredy ends up falling victim to his own traps. He remembers the caveat that if all else fails, one should "play dead" until morning, so he plays dead... only to fall asleep! The next day he awakes refreshed, and we get a list of some of the real-life effects of a good night's sleep.

The book is very clever and shows little kids the power of cause and effect by stringing together some very unpredictable events to tell a story. For a cartoon that does the same, tune in to the exploits of Finn and Jake on Adventure Time.

For other posts on children's books click here, here, here, or here.

A Soulless and Didactic Lecture on the Topic of Humor in the Classroom

2011-05-23T11:58:00.000-07:00

The only thing I've read lately that sticks in my mind... and it is only sticking now because I am making it stick by remembering it.... is a line from the recently released Autobiography of Mark Twain... and I'll probably misquote it, but it's something to the effect of a man can't hope to be funny if he is afraid of being funny. I don't know why this struck me as absolutely true, but there it is. I suppose it has to do with my time in the classroom. I try to use humor as much as possible. For one, I don't think I could stand the lugubrious colors, nor the institutional block walls, (or the complete lack of sunlight for that matter), if it weren't for laughter. I tend to use a poker face when I deliver material. I suppose this is because I want my students to laugh, but not take my goofy grinning face for an invitation to try sophomoric humor of their own. I know this rationale may sound cruel if not strange, but if you spend any amount of time in a room full of teenagers, you'll find they take nonverbal cues more to heart than the words coming out of your mouth... and if you can get them to listen to the words coming out of your mouth it is often a miracle to get them to consider the words strung together as a whole rather than as individual specimen flying around the room like so many distracting bees. So, I reason, if my face looks serious, but if I'm saying funny things or projecting funny images on the board, they will laugh and pay attention... but not get carried away with the hilarity. If I use humor and laugh and giggle and generally cut up however I've found that students get out of control very quickly because they don't take you or your "lesson" seriously no matter how serious it may actually be. So... the mixture of humor with a deadpan delivery is effective, but that kind of "cyborgism" takes its toll. For instance, just the other day someone mentioned something about sin. So I started talking about how my concept of sin is that it is a sin to experience the world through the senses. And that if we had "a cosmic proboscis with which to sniff the armpit of God" we might be a whole lot less sinful. I don't think they knew what a proboscis was, yet, when I looked out at one particular difficult-nut-to-crack, I want you to understand that he almost never laughs, but when I looked him directly in the eyes and grinned a goofy grin, this particular stoic burst out laughing. If the material hadn't been so serious in the first place (that of sin) and the theology kind of heady, I might have gotten some more laughs, I reasoned. That's not to say their humor can't be sophisticated in its twists of cultural hoodoo and Internet/YouTube sensationalism. It is as sophisticated as it is superficial at times, and tales involving slapstick violence almost always work. It is amazing how quickly a teenager will tune out an adult that is attempting to give directions or be didactic, but when an adult starts telling a story that involves blowing something up or roundhouse kicking something in the face... well, that is a different story. I prefer to make stories up and deliver them in the same deadpan I use for humor. I can only speculate as to the long term effects this type of storytelling may have on the teenage mind, but it certainly works in a pinch to grab their attention. I survived an entire year with a particularly energetic eight period though weekly installments of my last job: driving an ice cream truck in the ghetto. Teenagers love tales of the ghetto. Of course, I've never driven an ice cream truck, much less one in the ghetto, but these tales had a marginal authenticity due to a few years spent living in an apartment near the lesser appetizing streets of Akron. Tales centering around Smitty usually work as well. Smitty was the kid I sat beside in high school art class. He is interesting to high schoolers because of one particular quality: he was a legitimate, card carrying Neo-Nazi / Skinhead. After I drop this fact (and in this case, it was a fact... he tried to get me to join the National Alliance on more than one occasion) students are rapt. I often make stories up entirely out of my head. A recent tale involved my plan to get back at the baby bunnies who have developed a penchant for the bubble gum growing in my garden. I chalk my madness up to two causes. Either 1) I have not had time to write, or 2) the class makes demands of me I am not capable of satisfying in any other way, save storytelling. Most of the time, and lately, both causes are true.

My original conceit dealt with something Mark Twain said. He said that humor is only effective if the humorist is not afraid of being funny. Or, I suppose, not afraid of being not funny. This was in relation to a speech he once gave poking fun at Emerson, Whittier and Holmes. He said the speech didn't work because the crowd went stiff and he began to doubt the humor of his material. Twenty five years later he decided the speech was hilarious, but that the audience was not able to laugh at the relative mockery of such sacred men. What I'm getting at is that with high schoolers, one never knows if the joke will go off. Past success is never an accurate yardstick because individual teenagers are unpredictable by their very nature, and to complicate the situation even more, individual classes are just as whimsical, and a joke can be spoiled by the rotten atmosphere of any particular moment. Often a joke needs a butt so to speak, and if a particular teen is not up to being that butt, the humor is spoiled. So, I suppose what I'm getting at is that the high school teacher who values humor in the classroom is up against astounding variables and that he can never be entirely sure of his ability to make teenagers laugh. I suppose this is what makes the endeavor worthwhile to begin with, its tentativeness, but one can't have much confidence in oneself in front of one of the most difficult crowds in the history of humanity (the modern American teen) and according to Twain this is a very intimidating obstacle. I agree, which is why I so love the end of the year. We are in a place where I have been able to convince them that if I make fun of them it is only because I love them, which is true from my heart. So the relative hilarity of the end of the school year is one that has me making the jokes, and more often than not, smiles abounding. I imagine, given the recent political climate, that any non-teachers who may be reading this are wondering why I get paid to tell jokes all day. If any of you are out there reading this, first of all thanks for sticking with me through all of these words. And I mean that. Secondly, I want to make two points as to why humor is invaluable in the classroom: 1) students learn best when they're having fun, and laughter is symptomatic of fun, and 2) that any issues relating to discipline of classroom management can be instantly dissolved (more often than not) through humor. So, cheers to all you kiddies and all of you that spend your days amongst those kiddies. It's an exciting time of year. Don't forget to laugh.

School™

2011-03-10T11:15:00.000-08:00

Student project for the book Feed.

Obama to Governors: Don't Vilify Public Workers - The Atlantic

2011-02-28T18:43:00.000-08:00

I knew there was a reason I voted for him. Many of my friends have expressed their frustrations with President Obama lately, and these are all folks who voted for him. They feel that he had a chance to change our country's healthcare for the better, but chickened out by making all those concessions. I think we as Americans are our own worst enemies, and that Senate Bill 5 is in some ways symptomatic of this need to wallow in mediocrity. If public employees have it so good, why aren't folks from the private sector trying to figure out how to make it work for themselves? I know that advocates of SB5 feel that somehow the rich salaries and benefits packages of public employees are in some way draining the economy, but I don't believe it, and I will never believe that it isn't possible to provide free health care to America's people. So all of you ready to let the presidential pendulum swing in the opposite direction in 2012, keep in mind that we live in a republic where our elected officials work together in as expedient a fashion as possible, and while Thoreau felt that the formation of government should be an expedient of the people's will, there isn't a whole lot that's speedy about our governmental process; that which happens speedily generally isn't representative of the people's will.

Obama to Governors: Don't Vilify Public Workers - The Atlantic

A Union Teacher's Thoughts on Senate Bill 5

2011-02-23T20:14:00.000-08:00

By now I’m sure you’ve heard of Senate Bill 5 and understand that it is causing unrest among public employees. The following bullet points are proposed in a sponsor testimony by senator Sharon Jones (R):

• Eliminates collective bargaining for state employees and employees of higher education institutions
• Existing collective bargaining agreements (CBAs) covering those employees expire according to their terms
• Eliminates salary schedules and step increases and replaces them with a merit pay system
• Eliminates continuing contracts for teachers after the bill’s effective date
• Eliminates teacher leave policies in statute and requires local school boards to determine leave time
• Eliminates seniority as a sole criterion for Reductions In Force (RIFs)
• Removes healthcare from bargaining and instead permits school boards to govern healthcare benefit plans for employees
• Requires employees to pay at least 20% of their healthcare costs
• Allows public employers to hire permanent replacement workers during a strike
• Limits bargaining for local government employees (including school districts) to issues of wages, hours and terms and conditions of employment
• Eliminates binding arbitration for police and fire
• Abolishes the School Employee Healthcare Board
• Prohibits school districts from picking up any portion of the employee’s contribution to the pension system
• Allows a public employer in “fiscal emergency” to serve notice to terminate, modify or negotiate a CBA

Now, the proposal that has most teachers I know up in arms is the proposal to eliminate the right of unions to engage in collective bargaining with school administration. If teachers in the state of Ohio were to lose collective bargaining and the right to strike, we would be subject to the absolute rule of the administration and local school boards. There are some people out there who think this isn’t such a bad idea. Most of these people are employees in the “private sector,” or members of the Tea Party. They think teacher unions are responsible for providing laundered union dues money to fund Democratic campaigns. They also think these union dues go to pay for “stand-in” hired protesters at political rallies. They think this bill will help balance the state (maybe even the national budget), because, their logic is, if the state can cut teachers’ (and other public employee’s) bloated paychecks and cushy benefits packages, not to mention organizations like NEOEAs teacher retirement package benefits, we might just balance the state and national budget. Ohio Tea Party members believe that their income tax dollars are squandered to provide a luxurious lifestyle for teachers who only work 184 days a year and, for all intents and purposes, “coast” in their professions.

My father worked as an Ohio educator for 32 years in the classroom. He paid into STRS (state teacher’s retirement system) his entire life, every paycheck. He is now receiving that money (his money) in the form of a pension in retirement. My parents pay for their health insurance. That is they pay for their health care premium. They’ve done the math and pay any dental and vision expenses out of pocket reasoning that the cost to fill an odd tooth or the cost of glasses is less than a monthly premium. And they’re right. Their “luxurious” lifestyle involves a senior priced cup of McDonald’s coffee.

My grandfather was a policeman, and to this day I remember him sitting in his recliner sporting duct taped slippers and getting up to unplug the microwave because he saw the odd penny of electricity used to power the digital clock as a horrific waste of money. Now, to be fair he behaved this way not necessarily because he was penniless, but more likely because he lived through the Great Depression and had stories about standing in lines for sugar and flour. I suppose the portrait I’m trying to paint here is of two men who worked hard their entire lives serving the public and that certainly did not, or do not, “live in the lap of luxury.”

My parents aren’t starving in the street, and they have been able to enjoy their retirement unlike some Goodyear retirees I know that had to go back to work in their old age because of pension cuts and now paint houses well into their late sixties and seventies in order to make ends meet. So there’s the private sector for you and all the good it’s done the gentlemen I used to sell paint to when I was in college and worked at an independent little paint store long since run out of business by big boxes like Home Depot, who by the way aren’t union either, but at least they sponsor the homosexuals. Anyway I had to carry these five gallon buckets of paint to their cars and trucks because they’d had rotator cuff surgery for the sixth time from the debilitating effect of the brushing motion involved in painting houses, and couldn’t lift the weight.

I remember standing on the picket line with my father while he and the other teachers he worked with were on strike. I was eight years old and warming my hands on the fire they had going in a steel drum. I was not to go to school during the time the teachers were on strike, and many of my friends and neighbors supported the teachers by keeping their young ones at home as well. Keep in mind this was during the 1980s when inclusion was in full swing. When I asked my dad why the teachers were on strike, he told me that the administration wanted to count disabled students as ½ a student. I remember feeling that this was fundamentally wrong. I remember his stories of these disabled students, his eyes usually watery behind his big bifocals. Whenever my father spoke of Victor, a child bound to a wheelchair due to some horrid disease I can’t remember that killed him in his twenties, or the story involving a child that ate his lunch every day with my father and his colleague, his eyes (even now twenty years later) are usually watery. I don’t know what particular disability this latter child suffered, but I remember my father telling me that it took them nearly an entire year of question and answer to teach him that the capital of Ohio is called “Columbus.” The administration wanted to count special needs children as ½ a child. I could only sense that this was wrong from a moral standpoint. My father explained how it was also wrong from a labor standpoint. “Most of those little boys and girls (he taught sixth grade) need more help than the average child. If they appear as ½ on my class rosters, on paper I could have 25 students, but in reality I could have near thirty, and many with special needs.” At the age of eight, I sensed that the teacher strike was for a just cause, and I was proud to be on the picket lines with my father. “Why would the administration want to do something like that?” I asked. My dad rubbed his thumb against the fingers of his right hand: his universal gesture for “money.” And not just money. My father uses this gesture now and forever with scorn to mean ill-begotten money. I came to understand that if the school was able to “hide” student numbers on paper, they could give teachers bigger class loads and hire fewer and fewer teachers.

Senate Bill 5 is designed to take away a teacher’s right to strike. I read today that now they (the Republicans in the Ohio senate) want to allow us to keep collective bargaining, but only in order to negotiate wages. I truly believe that most school administrators are good people who want to do a good job. Unfortunately “doing a good job” for district superintendents means saving the district money. I foresee that if this bill passes schools will indeed begin saving money. However, at what moral cost? At the expense of student learning? Most school administrators were once teachers but only a few years out of the trenches can cause them to forget what it was like. If this bill goes through, and we lose our right to strike, I think all school administrators as well as the boards of education must be held accountable for spending a certain number of hours in the classroom.

There’s a lot of comparing private sector to public in this debate, and quite frankly it smacks of a pissing contest to me, and the best advice I ever received regarding pissing contests is: once you realize you’re in a pissing contest, get out. So I will keep this brief. As it stands I agree with Thoreau: “Education should not be a mass process.” Can you imagine what a mess education will become if we run our schools like businesses in the private sector? School should be a place of ascetic learning and ideas, more like a monastery than a place where young people learn to become only what the corporations can use to make a profit. I just wrapped up teaching the novel Feed to my seniors. You should read it. I hate the idea of one day sending my boys off to School™

Being a relatively young teacher, the idea of merit pay amuses me. What kind of system would these folks have to create in order to evaluate student learning? Test scores? The state is doing away with the Ohio Graduation Test, and they’re putting it in our hands to create a high school exit exam for our students. So, they propose to put us in charge of our own salary? Okay. I guess I can deal with that.

Eliminating seniority as sole factor in Reductions in Force doesn’t bother me so much either. But now I’m a young cocky teacher with high efficacy who is well liked for my youth and connection with my young students. Now I’m over thirty but still pretty hip. What about when I’m a crusty old man, “a tattered coat upon a stick”? Will I be the first to go because I pull down a big paycheck? Not because of a bloated union pay scale based on seniority (they’re doing away with that, remember?), but because I’m such a master teacher my students’ performance is off the chart. Could we ever see a day when administrators value the mediocre teacher over the excellent teacher simply because they have to pay them less?

Many folks have concluded that this bill is more about union busting than balancing the budget. So, okay, the Republicans want to destroy unions. Is this really such a big surprise? The “Haves” want to make “Have-Nots” labor cheaper. Big bloody shocker. Some folks are indignant that we’re calling SB5 a class issue, but that’s what Marx was going on about in that little Manifesto, the likes of which I can’t even mention in print because most Americans think it’s a dirty word. What aggravates me most, I suppose, are state employees that align with the Tea Party. I can’t imagine the amount of loathing these individuals have for themselves and their profession. By all means, go join the private sector, but leave our unions intact. And to all the rest of you out there sitting on a fence. We teach your children. We watch you while you sleep. Don’t you think we should have a voice?

2011-01-07T16:02:00.000-08:00

There is a crack in the whole,
the crack becomes the whole.
This is all I know.

Summa Apologia

2010-12-14T07:46:00.000-08:00

I have a few writing projects going right now. Well. A lot, really. Getting started has never been a problem for me, but finishing is always the toughest part. I've always intended to finish an analysis of Gone With the Wind I wrote for Dr. Dukes for my final MFA class. It was a Buddhist read of the story. I have since started an analysis of The Road. I've collected most of the source quotes, but can't find the motivation. Where does one send critical analysis, anyway, and who cares what I think of a book more people have read than... well most other books?

I have a few new short pieces in the works... same problem. One's about the Second Coming of Christ, one's about a guy that can't stop vomiting. Can't find a way out of either, but I like them too much to quit.

I still haven't given up on my novel either. I'm redrafting the whole thing in the first person. Finished with the first few chapters. But now, I have to go back and re-do the second chapter because I got an idea that won't go away. Winter is affording me some extra time. For one, we've been off school for a few days, but between blowing snow, pulling Wyatt on the sled, grading, reading Middlesex (which has been the first book to hold my attention in a long time), I don't have a ton of time to devote to my writing. With the new baby on the way, I don't see my schedule opening up any time soon. How do I prioritize my writing life?

Some good news is that I have a piece of flash fiction appearing here. Maybe the answer is flash fiction. Who knows?

Times They Are A Changin'

2010-12-08T11:44:00.000-08:00

This is my buddy's 1978 camper van. He sold it a few years back when he found out he was having a child. They still drive a van, but it's a *sigh* mini-van. I can't blame the guy for selling it, it just makes me sad. We had a lot of great times in that bus. I remember actually camping in it (this is way before any of us actually had children). We were such idiots that the only provision we brought was a case of beer. And our wives didn't even care! They thought it was kind of funny. Camping with our children is an impossibility these days: they're too young, I think. Our wives are pregnant again, so they wouldn't be up for it in the first place (can't say I blame them), and we'd have to haul a trailer full of provisions for the wee ones. Things just ain't like they used to be, man.

I remember when the starter was on the fritz, and we had to push it down the road, and then drop in the clutch to get it running. There was a real sense of teamwork; a few of us pushing while the driver cheered us on from his captain's seat. Every car should require that kind of teamwork to get going. Maybe it's just a case of winter-bah-humbugs, but everything seems extraordinarily bleak. Oh, hell. I probably just need a decent cup of coffee.

Really though, I remember sitting there and listening to music like Buckethead and having a blast. Nowadays I couldn't even pick up a Buckethead album without worrying that the sentinels of good taste might be peering over my shoulder and shaking their heads with disapproval. In fact, I think I know what I need, plus a cup of coffee. I need to make an obnoxious mix CD full of music that the "wrong kind of white people" might like.

Here's how it goes in no particular order:

"Twist" Korn
"Jowls" Buckethead
"Thrust!" White Zombie
"Bounce" System of a Down
"Bruises" Skindread
"Wollt Ihr Das Bett In Flammen Sehen" Rammstein
"Automatic" Powerman 5000
"Mouth for War" Pantera
"Blue Monday" Orgy
"Dr. Feelgood" Motley Crue
"Eye of the Beholder" Metallica
"Snake Eyes and Sissies" Marilyn Manson
Anything off Riddlebox by ICP
"Healing to Suffer Again" Hatebreed
"Decay of Grandeur" Gwar

I like the idea of a mix like this, full of music that I used to think was really neat-o. I guess other people might call music like this a guilty pleasure. Maybe I should have, but I never felt guilty popping in that ICP album I got off a kid I used to work with... at the go-kart track. Yeah, I used to listen to ICP and work on go-karts. You got a problem with that?

Six Word Memiors

2010-11-18T10:13:00.000-08:00

This has been a lesson in brevity. It, of course, begins with Hemingway. “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” The challenge is: can you tell a story in six words? This appeals to teenagers, folks. I’m not going to get all preachy about the YouTube Generation, partly because I find that sermon tiresome and mean-spirited, and that’s not what I’m about, y’all. As my dad would say, “Homey don’t play that.”

The appeal is obvious: six words. No more, no less. It is a clearly defined genre. The rules are black and white, so to speak. Yet there is an ill defined element. Can you say something, anything, worthwhile in six words? My students proved it’s possible. Try it with yours.

My resources include SMITH magazine (SMITHTeens especially). As well as an NPR project. Also The Best American Non-Required Reading 2007, pp. 12-14.

Muse-ick

2010-10-26T16:31:00.000-07:00

Have you ever sat down to write something and felt like an overwhelmed dry well? It's like the torrent of input is still brimming over, the soil is saturated and no end to the rain. Maybe I'm receiving a vision of tomorrow's weather. Maybe I'm over burdened with information about how to treat storm water runoff after digging out a twenty seven foot length of black corrugated drainpipe and replacing it with polyvinyl chloride drain and sewer pipe. Maybe it was waking up to a song that was stuck in my head all day and I can't remember the lyrics.

Okay, it's been a day and I remember the song. It was Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car." What a great song, but really, no one should be asked to handle a trip like that at 5:40 am. The guitar riff was in my head all day. Unfortunately the tune in my head has changed to Kings of Leon "Use Somebody," which isn't a very good song, I'm sorry to say, and I can't trade it back.

I guess for now I'm just happy I could figure out the name of the song. Maybe I'll have time to actually pick up my guitar soon. Stranger things have happened.

The tension of opposites...

2010-10-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

...is a line from Tuesdays With Morrie that has me thinking a lot. Reflecting upon some recent lessons, I can see that I've been using the concept to talk to the kids about poetry. For example comparing Anne Bradstreet's "To My Dear and Loving Husband" to Jean Toomer's "Her Lips are Copper Wire." The theme is Love. "To My Dear and Loving Husband" is a sentimental poem and "Her Lips are Copper Wire" is a sensory poem. I admire the latter for its relatively unique metaphor, and I kind of despise the former for its Hallmark qualities. Regardless, the lesson really got to the heart of what I want to say about poetry without my stammering for the words, or repeating "The Red Wheelbarrow" a hundred times hoping they will understand.

We deepened our study of these themes with modern music. "Real Love" is the Beatles song we used, which is a jewel, but what a sentimental mess. I juxtaposed it with Pearl Jam's rendition of "Last Kiss," which is a sentimental mess, but also an actual mess: "something warm rolin' through my eyes."

Here are some of the other "opposite" poems we discussed:

Follow links for supplemental You Tube goodness (The Builders link is especially strange):

Advice: "Mother to Son" & "The Road Less Traveled" & "Let it Be"
Work: "The Builders" & "I Hear America Singing" & "Wichita Lineman"
Death: "Thanatopsis" & (I had them choose their own) & "Last Kiss"
Freedom: "To the Honorable William Earl of Dartmouth" & "I Too" & "Blowing in the Wind"
Nature: "The Snow Storm" & "Birches" & "The Horizon Has Been Defeated"

Highlights: Skarl karaoke singing "Blowing in the Wind" when he realized the you tube link scrolled lyrics but no words. Some clapped, some stared in horror. Ah, these are the best days of our lives.

This week we're reading Anne Sextons' "Riding the Elevator into the Sky" and drawing creative interpretations.

Soon we'll be onto riddle poetry. Until then, folks. Keep it fresh. And it doesn't hurt to sing, either.

Thoreau for Toddlers

2010-10-03T09:43:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since Wyatt was a tiny tot, strapped to my back as we hiked the woods around Walden Pond. I'm sure it's going to be one of those non-memories for him captured in never enough pictures; a trip we can, as parents, throw in his face when he becomes a teenager, listening to loud music and acting in ways that imply we didn't love him enough. "But what about the time we took you to Walden Pond, dear?" And then we'll have to pull out the pictures because he won't remember. When he reads Walden and expresses an interest in the ideas as well as the place, maybe even suggests we take a family trip, we'll smugly remind him that he was already there. "Don't you remember?"

What I remember of that day was the unseasonable warmth, the verde stone quality of the water....and the bugs. Millions of flying ants had hatched on that day and hung thick in the air. We literally parted them like a living curtain as we hiked.

Among other strange phenomenon were the fraternity brothers (oddly skinny and awkward) hiking the trail in the opposite direction. Greek letters across their chest, one of them on his cell phone: "...yeah, this guy just lived out here and shit..." Also, the guy working in the gift shop was a brooding thirty-something in a Steeler's jersey. I remember thinking that even God is likely a Steeler's fan. After some conversation we found out the giftshop clerk was a Thoreau impersonator (imagine Thoreau after a bad romance with the Industrial music scene), and a native of Highland Square. Yes. Akron. It felt somehow scandalous that I came all this way just rub elbows with my evil twin.

We bought a few things, among them this book.

The book is still a little too long for Wyatt, but I've read it at him a few times; at first he was content to look at the nice illustrations of Thoreau in motley looking ponderous stroking his patchwork beard amid a city full of smokestacks and bustling individuals. By the time Henry begins building his own little house, Wyatt is out of my lap running his cars over the furniture. I tell myself that one day soon enough he will react with indignation at Mayor Fogg's scheme to build a toothpick factory next to Walden Pond. For now I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know what a toothpick is, much less have an opinion on them. Until then, I'll continue to read the books he insists upon: a horrible Thomas the Tank Engine that I'm planning to hide in the closet, the How does a Dinosaur...? series, and, when I'm feeling poetical, Lewis Carroll's nonsense.

A Teacher on Teacher Salary

2010-09-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

I hate to add fuel to the fire, and I really should be making better use of my time (like writing the next great American novel, or maybe just weed-eating the ditch) but is the current debate over teacher pay really that widespread? As a public school teacher I feel I'm living in a pedantic little bubble and that these issues are magnified for someone like me. But I'm starting to wonder if it's really as hot as it feels. When anything wells from the throats of the masses I have to wonder... of what current, national issue is this a symptom, and for this particular issue, does the hullabaloo over teacher pay have to do with the current debate over healthcare reform? Are public employees being more intensely scrutinized because the masses are amping up for when doctors are either state or federal boys and girls? Regardless, and I'm roughly quoting from an article from NPR, "most people feel the way in which we compensate educators is broken." Well, park our fractured schools right next to our broken healthcare system, right?

I've never understood the terror at nationalizing healthcare, and I guess I don't understand merit pay either, which is the subject of this NPR blurb. Merit pay is a system of teacher compensation in which salary is linked to student test performance. While we're at it, let's do the same thing with doctors: if a patient dies on the exam tale or, say, keels over from hypertension, we should pin the blame on his or her doctor. Nevermind the fact that the patient had a pre-existing condition due to diet, work-related stress, personal stress, a faulty spiritual philosophy, or whatever combination of obvious and/or subtle reasons for the deterioration of his or her health. I know it's starting to sound like I have poor teacher efficacy, but let's be honest- I see my students for just a little under four hours a week, and that's not even one on one time- it's time during which they're vying for my attention with ten, fifteen, twenty, sometimes closer to thirty other teenagers. Now, this isn't to say I don't think what I do makes a difference. I know it does. Just the other day I got a letter, yes, a letter, sent through the mail with postage, a heading, a date, a signature, all of that, from a former student. She elucidated upon her success (she is a junior at Baldwin-Wallace) and she pointed out that I positively affected her. This is a feel-good story, and indeed, her letter made me feel great. It put a new sparkle on the day and caused me to lift my head just a little higher. Gave me the extra fuel necessary to try and engage teenagers. I've never felt that I am not fairly and justly compensated for what I do, but I don't think paying me more is going to make me any better. Nor do I think linking my pay to student performance is going to change anything, as the Vandebilt study found. Let the Jets pay Braylon Edwards double and I'm sure he'll drop just as many passes as he did in Cleveland. This is going to sound ridiculously pious, but there is only one thing that can make education work. It's love, folks, and as those shaggy headed Brits declared, money can't buy it. Besides, Edwards is just inept. And yes, I think there is such an animal as the inept public educator, but what can we do with these folks? The statistics for an educator are not nearly as clear cut as those of a football player. People always ask me if I have good students this year. And this is before September is out. I want to reply, "I don't know... let's give them fifty years or so and we'll see." Sometimes, I imagine, a teacher's influence isn't felt for years, and sometimes a bad teacher can teach you even more about life -the stuff that really matters-than a good one. So how do you gauge teacher performance? How do you separate a good one from a bad one? Using what criteria?

There is , however, a group of educators that I feel is grossly under compensated for their combined intelligence, passion, wisdom and generosity, and that is college professors. I'm not necessarily talking about the tenured folks, because I honestly don't know what kind of salary or benefits they earn, but I'm talking about the garden variety associate professor or adjunct. These are, on a whole, highly qualified professionals who are paid peanuts for a job (the educating of undergraduates) that, as I see it, is largely thankless. It's not until you get into your particular college, or even graduate program that you bake you professors cookies or send them greeting cards. No, I imagine the life of an undergraduate adjunct professor is pretty bleak. I say this because I know some adjuncts, but also because my own undergraduate experience hasn't yet disappeared into old age. I'm thirty one and today found a gray hair in my beard, but I can still remember my Sociology 101 class, and College Algebra. I imagine teaching those classes was like teaching high school, which isn't a bad gig at all, but then again, I am well compensated for what I do. Any public school teacher who tells you otherwise is probably going to spend eternity pushing boulders uphill. I live comfortably off of my salary, and I can provide affordable health benefits for my family. I couldn't do it as an adjunct. Hell, Tri-C thinks so much of their adjuncts they make them pay just to park on college ground. I think adjuncts are such an amorphous group, however, that no leadership has arisen to help them demand adequate compensation. At the same time, most universities are home to the most outspoken defenders of social rights that this country has ever seen. Why haven't they encouraged the adjuncts to rise up and cast off their chains? Do these witches and wizards of higher education see adjunct life as a necessary rite of passage into the world of full-blown professorhood? Who knows. Maybe higher educational administrators are just the kind of blood-sucking fascists that kind-hearted tenured professors could never hope to unseat.

There are a lot of different ways to feel about the scrutiny directed at public school teachers. One way to look at it is that people are jealous of our profession. Another way to look at it is that people want the biggest bang for their buck. I can't fault anyone for either being jealous (I happen to think my job is very rewarding and that I am well paid, too), nor can I fault them for wanting to make sure teachers earn their pay. We're all familiar with the Carl Monday types of investigations: cue black and white footage of a public employee sleeping in his van during the workday. Chances are you're not going to find this kind of shirking in a public school. Unsupervised teenagers tend to be really, really noisy. And unfortunately I can't buy into a state test that reflects a teacher's level of effort... not a test that happens on one day out of the whole year, and is subject to so many factors besides teacher effort. I could get behind a year-long portfolio option. Let those who do not think teachers earn their pay sit down with one and have the curriculum explained, lesson by lesson, as it evolves throughout the year. Believe me, I know teachers: they like to talk. By the end of the first couple hours, that once angry taxpayer will be ready to agree to vote in a new levy just to get the teacher to shut up about "all the cool things we do." And besides, as a former collegue of mine once said, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." As a neophyte, I thought this betrayed poor teacher efficacy, and my philosophy was "just hold his head under until he opens his mouth." I still kind of feel this way about teaching, but at the end of the nine weeks, or semester, the students who get the most out of their education are the ones that put in the most effort. I admit, a teacher has to be held accountable for engaging his or her students, but the decision to be "on" or "off" is ultimately up to the student. The probably apocraphal story of a student approaching Picasso goes something like this: Student: "Master, teach me everything I need to know to become a great painter," to which Picasso replied, "I can't help you. You have to do all the work yourself," and shut the door in his face. I wonder what the average Joe Sixpack would say about a teacher like that? Henry David Thoureau felt that education should not be a mass process. Personally I don't anything should be a mass process, but as the population of the US skyrockets-for every two and a half million that die every year, just over four million are born-to just over three hundred million, a mass process it shall be. Time came out with a statistic in 2009 that over 40% of the four million annual US birth are to unwed mothers. And to quote Kurt Vonnegut, "I suppose they will all want dignity." In my mind there can be no dignity without an education. And currently our educational system is free and public. Folks, it's absolute madness to attempt to educate everyone and expect to have no problems. But I wouldn't trade our system for any other in the world. It is one of the things that makes me proud to be an American. I normally, to paraphrase John Gardner, feel like I have to go down into my basement in order to wave my flag, but not on this one. Free public education is a beautiful dream, and one worth striving for. I'm sure the way we fund schools has problems. I'm sure there are "bad teachers" out there, just like there are bad doctors, and bad lawyers, and bad grocery baggers. But for crying out loud, can't we dispense with all the finger-pointing and admit that it takes a village? Education isn't going to get any cheaper, either, I'm afraid. As each generation become more and more reliant on technology, the costs are just going to keep going up. Sure I'll be upset when Wyatt's school wants me to buy him a Kindle so he can read The Old Man and the Sea when I have a ten cent paperback of the stinking thing in my glove compartment, but the challenges of educating the "You Tube Generation" is whole different issue for another day. I already feel this rant has bloated up into "Mary Worth" status when I wanted to keep it "Far Side."

Personify

2010-09-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

After sharing the poem "Mistress Stella Speaks" from Tyehimba Jess' Leadbelly, and talking about the importance of biographical information (most students thought the poem was about a prostitute!) we experimented with writing a personification poem of our own. here are the directions, which I can't help but feel need tweaked. Nevertheless, some interesting stuff came out.

Follow these directions:
Choose an object (one of your possessions) to write about, write the name of the object at the top of a piece of paper.

Line 1: say something to your object
Line 2: the object responds
Line 3: Mention a color
Line 4: use a verb and a body part
Line 5: Mention a piece of clothing, ends with an exclamation point!
Line 6: Use a Simile
Line 7: 3-word alliteration.

Weak One

2010-09-07T19:24:00.001-07:00

A new school year is well underway, and how many times have you spent precious time absorbing the buzz on a book, picked it up only to find nothing there for you? I can't say what makes good reading for me these days, and I'm equally puzzled when it comes to picking novels to teach to my students. I have tried to digest many books lately that I can only seem to pick at. Ulysses is one of them, but I don't feel bad about it: everyone has trouble with that one, right? I even went as far as to seek council, which is for me, on-line. I found websites and projects that are very helpful, but in their own way, discouraging. I can't help but to listen to the little voice in my head pointing out how all of these people have devoted significant portions of their lives to this book, so why should I? What could I possibly find there? Ludicrous, right? So, I forgive myself for procrastinating on the mega-books in my life, but I started reading The Passage on my kindle and, four or five chapters in, just don't care about it anymore. This is a book that's supposed to hold wide appeal: vampires, viruses, what more could I ask for? The writing is very good. The story should be interesting. So why can't I get into it?

Here are some other books I've started in the last year or so and have yet to finish: Tree of Smoke, Suttree, Maiden Voyage, Under the Dome, Hunger, Journey to the End of the Night, Death on the Installment Plan, Silas Marner... and these are just to name a few. Sometimes I wonder if I've acquired literary ADD. IN the tradition of such disorders, I next wonder who or what I should blame: all that flash fiction? cable television? My teachers? My family?

Maybe I'm just being a lazy slob? I'm capable of finishing a book. Those I've enjoyed the most over the past few years have been: Islands in the Stream, Peter Camanzind, Narcissus and Goldmund, The Man Who Owned Vermont, Lisey's Story, Duma Key, Cloud Atlas, Goodbye Columbus, and others.

I'm re-reading Slaughterhouse Five right now. The first time, I have to admit, I was like "what's all the hype about?" Then again, I was a pimple-studded virgin that liked hard science fiction and played dungeons and dragons. Now it makes total sense that the aliens in the book are just kind of an excuse to tell a fractured narrative. Awesome from a writer's perspective, lame crap from a pimple-studded virgin's. That being said, I can't imagine teaching that book with much success. I just don't know. I enjoyed teaching The Road last year. I have given thought to teaching The Crossing by McCarthy as well. What kind of books do young adults need to read? Please don't say Silas Marner. Please?

Day Two

2010-08-24T17:48:00.001-07:00

Usually the immersion from day one is still wearing off: probably what goldfish feel like when they get dumped out of those little plastic bags and into the tank...

I've heard a theory stressing that some teachers fall into the "entertainer" group. In other words, they feel the need to make sure everyone in class is laughing and their lessons could double as stand-up comedy routines. I've heard the rule "don't smile until Christmas," and inevitably, these folks are making jokes or telling ridiculous stories on the first day.

Some good natured goof-ups:

To an 8th period class: "So, I'm married and we have a dog. The dog's a cute little fluff-ball. Since we're the last class of the day it's up to you guys to make sure I go home happy. Otherwise I might put the boot to my pooch."

To a low level group of language learners, ages 16-18: "Reading is awesome. When it's good you see all kinds of funky stuff. Like drugs. Only, cheaper."

Band director: "Whatever you do, make sure those instruments are cleaned regularly. You don't want to end up with a rusty trombone."

To Freshmen: "So if you have to use the bathroom, I recommend holding it. I hear there are no doors on the stalls, and this whole wing files in there during tornado drills."

The last one will keep them from asking to use the bathroom, the first one may keep your eighth period in line, the second one might involve the inside of your Principal's office, and the one about the trombone, well. Even the best of us have been known to blow it big-time.

What do you do on the first day?

2010-08-16T17:59:00.000-07:00

I always struggle thinking up interesting activities for back to school, day one. I used to be kind of a slavedriver and make my students write an essay; no, not "What I Did This Summer," but more like a getting-to-know-you kind of thing. I wrote one to introduce myself. Kind of corny, I know. Harry Wong stresses that if you want students to take your class seriously and work hard, you should make them work on the first day and save the boring rules, etc. for another time. No "fun" stuff either. One year I just got tired of making them do something "serious" and had students get into groups of two and three to brainstorm a list of story titles. The only requirement was make sure it's a title that would attract interest. Then, they actually wrote the story as a group. When I first experienced this activity the teacher, Sheila Schwartz, had us write the story directly onto origami paper. If we decided the story stunk at the end, we could fold it into a swan or a hat or something. Brilliant stuff. Every writer should toy with the idea of stocking their printer with origami paper.

What do you do on day one? What's the tone you shoot for, and how do you get it?

Catcher in the Rye Photo Story

2010-08-04T10:45:00.000-07:00

When you are blessed with students who are not afraid or distrustful of their imaginations, this activity can be fun. Arrange four images and ask students to put them in chronological order. Stories appear. You can have them tell the stories out loud in groups or individually on paper depending on how much time you need to fill. Here are some more images I use from Catcher in the Rye.

Angela's Ashes Web-Activity

2010-06-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

Here's an activity for Frank McCourt's Angela's Ashes. I dearly love this book... and I don't really know why. I think it's because I am always wholly transported into its world. I saw Frank McCourt speak a few times. Once at an English teacher's conference and once at a writer's conference. I think he shone on both occasions, but I have to say he was much more in his element speaking to the teachers. He struck me as a kind of whirling dervish and I'm sure that's how he must have struck his students in the classroom. And that's how his narrative works. For lack of a better expression, "it sucks you in."

I can't say I really know how to teach the book, though. This web-quest may well be the most creative tool I've devised... and that isn't saying much. I use Prestwick House's student response journal, which works just fine. I just don't think I've ever hit gold teaching this book. It may have to do with the fact that I always teach it as part of a literature circle. Maybe I should teach it to the entire class? I can't escape the idea that every discussion will come down to just how miserable Frank's childhood was. I guess that's okay. Heck, it's on the first page. He basically says, "I've got all you bitches beat."

Angela's Ashes Web Activity

All answers must be written in complete sentences. Answer the questions completely.

See attached blank map of Ireland. Using Link 1 draw in the Limerick, Northern Ireland, River Shannon, Dublin, and Lough Neagh

Link 2
Answer the following questions about the Irish flag
1. In the Irish flag, what color is placed nearest the flagpole? ________________________
2. What color represents the native people of Ireland? ________________________
3. What color represents the British who settled in Northern Ireland in the 1700's? ____________________________
4. What does the color in the middle of the flag represent? __________________________
5. When was this flag first used? _____________________________

Link 3
Visit the Limerick of Angela’s Ashes and tour the streets Frank grew up on. Look at the pictures found on the links to: Roden Street, First Jobs, City Center. As a whole, how would you describe the area? Use adjectives in your creative description)

Link 4
What is the IRA? What is the Old IRA?

What was the Easter Rising of 1919?

Was it a success or not? Why was it important?

Links 5 & 6
Frank’s father is always singing Kevin Barry and Roddy McCorley songs.

Who was Kevin Barry? Give two sentences. Listen to the song.

Links 7 & 8

Who was Roddy McCorley? Give two sentences. Listen to the song.

Why do you think Malachy sings about these two?

Link 9
Pictures make events seem more real. Look at some of the war propaganda and photographs from the era of the Old IRA and the struggle with the British.

Link 10
The Black and Tans were an important aspect of Post-War Ireland. What function did they serve?

Malachy also tells Frank Cuchulain stories. Watch the clip at Link 11 and tell how Setanta became Cuchulain.

Link 12
Malachy hangs a portrait of Pope Leo XIII and claiming he was a great friend to the working man. Read about the principle of subsidiarity as outlined by Pope Leo XIII.

Summarize the pricipal of subsidiarity in a sentence or two. Do you think it was a good idea. Why or why not?

Link 13
Frank is named after St Francis of Assisi. St. Francis was the patron saint of what? Do you think this fits Frank’s personality? Why or why not? Give specific evidence.

Web Activity Links

Angela’s Ashes Web-Quest

Link 1 Joyce Map
http://www.robotwisdom.com/jaj/jajeire.html

Link 2 Irish Flag
http://www.enchantedlearning.com/europe/ireland/flag.shtml

Link 3 Tour of Limerick
http://homepages.iol.ie/~avondoyl/angelas1.htm

Link 4 IRA
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_Republican_Army

Link 5 Kevin Barry
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Barry

Link 6 Music
http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/war/easterrising/songs/rs_song07.shtml

Link 7 Roddy McCorley
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roddy_McCorley

Link 8 Music
http://www.ireland-information.com/irishmusic/roddymccorley.shtml

Link 9 Photos and Propaganda
http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/war/easterrising/gallery/index.shtml

Link 10 Black and Tans
http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/war/easterrising/aftermath/af05.shtml

Link 11 CuCuhulain
How Setanta became Cuchulain
http://www.bbc.co.uk/legacies/myths_legends/northern_ireland/ni_7/video_1.shtml

Link 12 Catholic Social Teaching
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subsidiarity#Catholic_social_teaching

Link 13 St. Francis
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_of_Assisi

Project Proposal: The Road

2010-05-27T05:46:00.001-07:00

One of your main objectives in reading Cormac McCarthy's The Road is to gather quotes that will help you come to some form of conclusion regarding the following issues and/or themes of the book:

1. Record the usage of religious language by the characters and/or narrators. You should be using these quotes to come to some conclusion regarding the presence of religion in this post-apocolyptic world as well as the characters' attitude toward religion.

2. What does McCarthy have to say about civilization? What about nature? How is organism working alongside mechanism? When are the two at odds? Further, how can we apply the Apollonian and Dionysian conflict to this aspect of the novel?

3. Using what you know of Conrad’s use of light and dark imagery in Heart of Darkness, study the use of fire and/or light in McCarthy. What does fire or light represent in The Road? How is this similar or different from Conrad’s use of light?

4. POV. Who is speaking as the narrator, and when? What seems to be their outlook on the cataclysm? How is their perspective influenced by dreams? Reality? When does the narrative switch between characters? Why does McCarthy switch narrators?

Quote Journals will be due each Friday and will be graded for completion

Some Journaling Ideas for Catcher in the Rye

2010-05-25T06:34:00.001-07:00

Here's some ideas for the novel. These work well as bellwork.

18 Years Old

1. “Our society encourages children to grow up too quickly.” Give some specific examples why you agree or disagree with this statement.

2. The State of Ohio recognizes you as a legal adult on your 18th birthday. Do you think this is a valid measurement of adulthood? Why or why not.

Depression

1. What makes you feel depressed? What do you do about it?

2. Agree or disagree: people can overcome their own problems. Why or why not?

Boy/Girl Friend

1. Define your concept of an “ideal” girlfriend or boyfriend?*
(Ideal- sounds like “idea,” is an idea or concept in absolute perfection)

Agree or Disagree—Establishing a mature relationship with the opposite sex is difficult.

Nothing Gold Can Stay
By Robert Frost

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower,
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief.
So dawn goes down today.
Nothing gold can stay.

1. In one sentence, as simply as possible, tell what you think this poem is about.

2. How does this poem relate to The Catcher in the Rye?

Family

Holden explains what he likes about Phoebe in Chapter 10.
For this journal, you will explain what you like about the friend or relative you feel closest to.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

It seems that Holden’s relationship with Mr. Spencer is one balanced by an equal amount of pity and respect. What qualities must an adult possess in order to gain your respect? Give an example of someone you know who possesses these qualities.

TV

We know Holden does not like movies because he tells us, however, he never mentions television.

1. If you were to hand Holden a copy of this week’s TV Guide, which shows do you think he would express interest in? Why?

2. What modern television shows do you think Holden would never watch, even if you paid him? Why?

Date/Friend

1. A) Girls, would you date Holden? Why or why not?
B) Guys, would you befriend Holden? Why or why not?

Like Stuff

Make a list of things Holden doesn’t like at this point in your reading. Holden usually comes out and says what he doesn’t like, so there’s no need to “read between the lines.” For example, he says, “If there’s one thing I hate, it’s the movies. Don’t even mention them to me,” on page 2.

1. Oftentimes in the novel, Holden uses the word “Phony” to describe the things he doesn’t like. What do you think he means by “Phony.”

2. Make a list of things YOU think are phony in our society. Try to have a reason for listing what you do.

iPod

1.If Holden were alive today, would he walk around with iPod earbuds in his ears? Why or Why not?

2.Regardless of how you answer #1, what kind of music would Holden NEVER listen to, even if you paid him? Why?

Labels

1. If Holden went to this school, what kind of label might he have? Why do you think this?

2. In which class might he succeed? Why do you think this?

React!

“The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.”

Examples of people who have died nobly?
Examples of people who have lived humbly?
What’s the difference?

Something about eating babies

2010-03-25T18:21:00.000-07:00

I gave my students the option to choose one of seven different novels for senior English this year and I'm starting to wonder if I bit off more than I can chew. I think this group is independent enough not to need constant direct instruction-just today I was going to teach the pardoner's tale and gave up because a) I had already related the neat-o plot orally earlier in the year and b) they already know dramatic irony from Sophocles... so, instead I asked them to read something at random from the textbook and be prepared to tell the class about it... "pick something short." I'm so glad I did! They showed me so many cool pieces I'd overlooked, like Wole Soyinka's "Telephone Conversation" a prose-poem of sorts that rocks my socks. He wrote a book while wrongly imprisoned in Nigeria. It's called The Man Died: Prison Notes of Wole Soyinka. I hope to track down a copy soon. We also read some weird thing called "Two Sheep" by Janet Frame and this other thing by Harold Pinter. It was an authentic string of moments. So... I'm hoping I don't have to do too much hand holding during this novel unit. I might have trouble keeping all the books straight. I know I could teach Siddhartha and Angela's Ashes blindfolded... probably blindfolded while sitting in the lotus position. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone might be a little challenging because we're doing a book called The Magical Worlds of Harry Potter in addition... and I've been talking trash about being a Potter expert, so I better know my stuff there. As for The Road, 1984, and Crime and Punishment-they're new. I've never taught them. I read The Road in one sitting two years ago on a plane to Hawaii, so I'll have to re-read that one, obviously. One of my male students said, "We'll just watch the movie," to which I replied, "Good. If you can get through it without curling into the fetal position and sucking your thumb go for it... and it's less intense than the book in many ways. They don't eat a baby in the movie. The movie will "e-road" you from the inside out." Another male student said "If they eat a baby I'm not reading it." I give him a lot of credit. I'm ashamed to admit if I were in high school the promise of a baby-eating scene would have driven me to the page. That and I only read Crime and Punishment (at first) because of the axe murder. But hey, I've come a long way since high school... I have a baby now, and I don't think I'd eat him for anything in the world.

Writing Exercise: Conflict

2010-03-18T10:21:00.000-07:00

Can't remember if I've posted this idea yet or not.

Choose a superhero with whom you are familiar. Consider their character. Do they strive to create order and enforce rules? Or, do they enjoy reveling in chaos and give into their primal urges? Better yet, are they a mix of the two? Do you have them in mind? Great.

Now put them in a scene that requires them to act in a way opposite of their nature. Emphasize your character's inner conflict. Show how inner conflict can lead to external conflict.

Reading Workshop 20

2010-03-04T08:24:00.001-08:00

Choose at least one of the following questions to answer about your chosen book.

If your book were an Olympic sport, what would it be, and why?

If your book were a celebrity, who would it be and why?

If your book were an element on the periodic table, what would it be and why?

If your book were a monster, what would it be, and why?

If your book had the choice to fly or be invisible, which would it choose and why?

If your book was a color, what would it be and why?

If your book had the choice to use nails or screws, which would it choose and why?

If your book could turn into a bat, would it hide in a cave or bite someone on the neck? Why?

Notes of a High School English Teacher: Worksheets

2010-03-03T14:26:00.000-08:00

...that's definitely not going to pass code...

2010-03-01T17:21:00.001-08:00

I've been spending some time lately learning the ins-and-outs of electrical wiring. I am tempted to go into detail here about the project but that would be a little too much like reliving a nightmare so I'll skip it. Speaking of nightmares, I read a scary story called "The Bees" by Dan Chaon last night before bed. There's a house fire in the story and I couldn't stop thinking about my electrical work before bed. Finally I had to get up and go touch the wires and the junction box to make sure they were cold before I could sleep. Jeez-oww!

I've been working on little stuff here and there, my own writing that is. I'm rewriting the novel, the one about the chef, in the first person. It's been a lot more fun now that I kind of know the story and I don't have to worry about keeping a straight face the whole time. I just finished re-revising chapter one just the other day. I feel pretty good about it I guess. I think the first couple pages are still going to be confusing, but I've been working on it. I think the relationship stuff regarding the main character and his roommate are much more realistic, and I think his "career dissatisfaction" is more evident, and (I hope) more funny. I hope there are a lot more funny parts, actually. I don't know, we'll see. I have an idea for at least one new character once the story moves to the school. It may very well take me another couple of years to finish the second draft. In the meantime I'm listening to the voices in my head. And working on story about a guy that can't stop vomiting.

Well, kids, that's about it. In the meantime I'm looking for something else to read that made me feel the way The Wild Things by Dave Eggers made me feel, and that is, like a kid again. Maybe I'll read Hendrik van Loon's The Story of Mankind?

Notes of a High School English Teacher: Hunter S. Thompson

2010-02-05T14:41:00.001-08:00

There’s a certain breed of high school student that inevitably finds Hunter S. Thompson at the top of their reading list. At its worst, this means maybe an older sibling showed them the movie of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and they’ve sought out the novel to carry around as a badge of weirdness. At its best, and maybe with some guidance, they read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (all of it, dammit, not just the trippy stuff), but didn’t stop there. Maybe they continue on to The Rum Diary, a nice piece of memoir-style journalism from his early days, or The Great Shark Hunt, a collection of New Journalism essays that give definition to the much-applied “Gonzo.” One of his short stories really stuck with me about a coyote trying to survive in an American suburb. By the end of the story, the coyote is matted, covered in eggs and ketchup and probably syrup, shot with an arrow maybe, limping brokenly, an ashtray in its jaws...something... I don’t remember exactly... unsure what the story was called... I think I read it in an anthology. Regardless, that essay always stuck with me. I think there is surely merit in Thompson’s writing. Just as there is merit in the writing of those with a 75 IQ. JESUS CHRIST! EVERYTHING HAS MERIT, IT'S JUST WHETHER OR NOT WE’RE BRAVE ENOUGH TO TALK ABOUT IT!

What I’m struggling with is how to approach the student carrying around Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. It's like trying to approach a caged opossum. The crazy eyes. What do I say to them? If they truly read the book, what do I recommend they read next? Or even if they didn’t... THEN WHAT?

There are many possible scenarios. I could seek help by reporting my suspicions to the crisis councilor. I could talk to the student myself, “So tell me why you like Hunter S. Thompson?” Could I recommend Denis Johnson? He seems to be a darling of the literary community, and, I suppose, for good reason. Would recommending Jesus’ Son be a good decision?

I used to have a book called Drugs Explained on my shelf. There was a big pot leaf on the cover, and there was always one student who pulled it down... perhaps for that reason alone. The book is more of a manual on the effects of drugs. I recently stuck the book in my teacher locker next to a copy of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

JESUS CHRIST!

AM I PUNKING OUT? TURNING CENSOR?

Marijuana is the opium of the poor, or so says Hemingway. It's one toy the ruling class doesn't want the working class to play with. I'm personally concerned with the research linking exposure to THC with schizophrenia. A dear friend of mine developed schizophrenia in his early 20's and I believe exposure to THC played a part. I, personally, think drugs are harmful. What kind of pisses me is that, in some people's minds, being a creative writer automatically links you with drug abuse. The idea that drug abuse and creativity are somehow linked is such a pain-in-the-ass. For instance a creative thinker might say something remotely outside the circle of the norm while interacting with "normal people," and all the sudden they're the ones saying, "Wow, that's so just, like, out there. Did you smoke something before dinner?"

Maybe morons are so afraid of original thought that they have to somehow link it to a criminal practice. Maybe, somehow, morons can see how books like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas criticize what they stand for: an American Dream that encourages gratuitous levels of avarice and consumption, and they seek to discount the storytellers. Maybe morons just think you have to be high on drugs to criticize one of the founding principals of the greatest nation in all the world.

The Serial Publications of JD Salinger

2010-01-31T06:49:00.000-08:00

I read The Catcher in the Rye for the first time when I was an undergraduate student at Akron. At the time, I was working at a paint and wallpaper store. Aster Paint was located in Firestone Park before the owner, Dave Johnson, moved the store to a larger location in Portage Lakes. I got the job from the recommendation of a friend of mine who now also teaches high school English. Aster was a fun place to work. Dave was probably the nicest boss I will ever have the privilege of working for. When we weren't unloading stock, waiting on customers or custom matching paint or stain, Dave let us do whatever we wanted. Down-time took many forms. One popular game was Aster-Ball in which we would literally play baseball with a version of a baseball made from tape. The store was set up in a square, so we just had to switch our perspective to make it a diamond. The wall above the wallpaper book shelves was the home-run area, and the only foul territory was behind the service desk. Dave would often join in the fun himself: "We work hard, and we play hard."

Aster-Ball usually happened on the weekend, when many of us were scheduled to work at the same time. During the week only one or two of us might be on staff, so in lieu of Aster-Ball, I would often read. After Aster closed, I got a job at Ace Hardware. I remember asking the general manager if we could read during down-time. I don't think anyone had ever asked him that. He looked at me and frowned. "I suppose if you're reading MSDS sheets or literature on products." Dave Johnson he was not.

I read Catcher in one day. I read about half of it in between customers at Aster, and finished it when I got home from work. I remember laughing at just about everything Holden had to say and Dave wanted to know what was so funny. Dave was a great salesman and he loved jokes. I tried to explain what was so funny, but of course it sounded stupid, so I committed the crime for which literary snobs have been guilty for centuries: I recommended he read the book himself.

I read the book again within the week. I was in a creative writing class at Akron with Bob Pope and I was happy to find that everyone had read the book and knew exactly what I was talking about when I said it was one of my favorite books. Another student named Chris claimed it was the book that got him back into reading as a high school student. Another guy named Ed claimed he read it every winter break. I quickly discovered that Catcher fans worshiped the book and everyone had a story. I talked about Catcher in the Rye in a job interview to teach English at a vocational school. I remember saying that I wanted to meet young Holden Caulfields and help them figure out how to use their towering goodwill before it tears them to pieces. I got the job and have taught the book nearly every year since. Student reactions have been favorable. Last year during our literacy initiative a poll was taken: name your favorite book. Catcher scored number two on the list just behind the Stephanie Myer books. I can't take all the credit, but out of nine English teachers, only two of us teach the book. Those are some odds! It has been common for students to lend the book to their parents when they're done with it, which has made for some interesting parent teacher conferences. In eight years I've only ever spoken with one parent who "didn't like the book." She didn't give much of a reason and I asked her if she read the whole book. She claimed she had but didn't build much of an argument against the book, just that she "didn't like it." Maybe it had something to do with language. OR, I have found that between the sexes women have a harder time identifying with Holden. Those who object to him think he's whiny, cynical and a downer. In one journal I ask female students if they'd date Holden. Most of them say they would not. I can't blame them, really.

Like any author, fans eventually run out of reading material and are forced to reread old material or turn to a different writer while they wait for the new book. For Salinger fans waiting for the new book was apt to be a long wait indeed. Among his other books, I read the memoir put out by his daughter, but at the time I was thinking a lot about the short story and couldn't get enough of Nine Stories. Especially "Just Before the War with the Eskimos," which I was teaching in school as a kind of reader's theatre. We'd highlight the speaking parts and let it rip. I loved Salinger's short stories, but was disappointed there were only nine. Somehow I got wind of his uncollected serial publications. It wasn't long before I had compiled the list and started searching in the basement of Bierce library among the periodicals. It was slow going. Some of the pages were missing, one was graffitied, and for every two stories I was able to find, I was missing one. And I had to pay for the copies, so it wasn't long before I lost my enthusiasm and the project was reduced to a handful of copied pages (mostly off centered) crinkled at the bottom of my book bag.

My father is probably one of the most obsessive collectors I have ever met. I caught the germ to some degree (I have almost all of the Amazing Spider man comics), but I believe my sister is far sicker than me. Couple this fact with her being a National Merit Scholar and PhD student at OSU (their library is bigger), and after mentioning in passing that I was collecting Salinger's uncollected serial publications but couldn't get them all, the next Christmas I was presented a neatly organized binder filled with plastic sleeves containing Xeroxed copies of the stories: one copied on heavy, yellow paper, and one copied on white paper (in case I need to make more), and a table of contents in beautiful script font. The stories are listed in the chronological order they appeared in print, and it is probably the most thoughtful gift I have ever received. I have included the information in the table of contents:

"The Young Folks" Story, March-April 1940
"Go See Eddie" The Kansas Review, December 1940
"The Hang of It" Collier's, July 12, 1941
"The Heart of a Broken Story" Esquire, September 1941
"Personal Notes on an Infantryman," Collier's December 12, 1942
"The Various Brothers" Saturday Evening Post, July 17, 1943
"Both Parties Concerned" Saturday Evening Post, February 26, 1944
"Soft Boiled Sergeant" Saturday Evening Post, April 15, 1944
"Last Day of the Last Furlough" Saturday Evening Post, July 15, 1944
"Once a Week Won't Kill You" Story, November-December 1944
"A Boy in France" Saturday Evening Post, March 31, 1945
"Elaine" Story, March-April 1945
"This Sandwich has no Mayonnaise" Esquire, October 1945
"The Stranger" Collier's, December 1, 1945
"I'm Crazy" Collier's, December 22, 1945
"Slight Rebellion off Madison" The New Yorker, December 22, 1946
"A Young Girl in 1941 with No Waist at All" Mademoiselle, May 25, 1947
"The Inverted Forest" Cosmopolitan, December 1947
"A Girl I Knew" Good Housekeeping, February 1948
"Blue Melody" Cosmopolitan, September 1948
"Hapworth 16, 1924" The New Yorker, June 19, 1965

I experienced sadness tinged with excitement when I heard the news that Salinger died at the age of 91. I always thought his writing captured the voice that so many of us (myself included) might lock away in a dark room because we're afraid it might betray something personal and therefore terribly fragile, and that's how I see his characters, full of petty jealousies, naive cynicism, intellectual immaturity, a dangerous sentimentalism, and, above all, the desperate need to be understood. Thank you, Jerome David Salinger, for your courage.

2010-01-14T04:42:00.000-08:00

"You'd better pay your dues with whatever talent you got... otherwise the world sends in its debt collectors. And those fellas aren't interested in takin a bite out of your wallet. Them fellas take a bite right out of your ever-lasting soul!"
-Gordon J. Fuller, PhD

2010-01-13T11:20:00.000-08:00

Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence. - Buddha

Did you ever wonder if it's a coincidence that the concept of samsara is a circle, and the Earth is a circle?

Was Buddhism thousands of years ahead of Magellan's voyage without even knowing it?

What's in the briefcase, sir? A bomb, or a literary journal... or, Lord help us, both?

2010-01-12T16:56:00.000-08:00

I had a student (a poetic, mohawk-ed one, I might add) say, "The only way people take notice in this country is if you blow something up." I might have stored the comment in the de-atomizer of my brain until its virulent energy dissipated. However, this student is interesting, and the comment struck a chord. I've decided to detoxify his words through this blog post... if I can. The literary equivalent of rolling a nematode up on a matchstick. Before it lays eggs.

The question that prompted the comment had to do with whether or not poetry is still an effective means of protest in today's society. I suppose it's debatable whether or not poetry has ever been an effective means of protest... but then of course I've been teaching them that it is by showing them Ginsberg and Snyder and the oldies like Oliver Wendel Homes, Paul Lawrence Dunbar, Langston Hughes, Bob Dylan, etc. I've realized I'm far more faithful to my ideals at the front of a classroom. I'm stronger. Quacking into this thing, or late at night when I'm alone with my thoughts... that's when the voices come out and really do their thing. I mean, right now I'm thinking... my God, maybe this student is right! Maybe we've allowed terror to degrade our society and we've empowered violence with our orange threat levels and airport security checks...

At this point, the spokesperson for my parent's generation (who looks like Lewis Black) comes out on stage in my imagination and laughs derisively... in my face. "You pussies have it easy compared to what my generation had to go through! Ever hear an air raid alarm? It makes your @$$hole pucker up! Ever been asked to hide under your desk in case a nuclear bomb hits the school? You guys are afraid of toothpaste, or that some person will build a bomb into their shoes, or (God forbid!) stick one up their @$$. You're afraid to write detentions because some pissed off kid will come in and shoot up the place. That's what you should have done with mohawk. Teach him to raise his hand if he has something to say. What ever happened to the nuke! What ever happened to a worthy f*%#@ing adversary?! And, after all, isn't war itself one big protest movement? Furthermore, what human rights or cultural freedoms were ever earned through poetry? Aren't poets the equivalent of big top performers willing to sell their very souls for a drip of praise? They're not social revolutionaries. Writers are overeducated window lickers!"

Luckily, Lewis stayed in the basement of my mind tinkering with his model trains when the money was on the table. I reacted with poise. My fingers did not twitch for a cigarette ( I haven't smoked in months), nor did I fold under the pressure and crap out a redirection. I squared my shoulders and hit that baby. Over the fence, I think.

"In one hundred years, society will forget the names of the extremists, and more than likely, we’ll forget their causes. The initial shock of an exploding airplane is more powerful than a poem or a story, but the effects aren’t likely to last as long, or penetrate as deeply into our minds and hearts. Language has the power to change the world for the better. Bombs and guns and terror do not."

I wasn't even sure if I believed the words coming out of my mouth. But now I know. I believe this with my whole heart. Even now, while Lewis is chain-smoking Chesterfields and asking me, "Well, what about MLK, and Christ and Gandhi, and Phil Hartman?!"

Be quiet, Lewis. Go watch the Home Shopping Network. Let me have this one. It sounded good.

Heck, it even sounded patriotic.

Found Poem

2010-01-04T13:54:00.000-08:00

I discovered today that the principal at my school is resigning and, moments after, feeling strangely excited, sad and nostalgic, read this list left on our network printer. I thought it was a poem, maybe a sonnet, because of the block type. However I soon discovered it was a list of vocabulary words. Besides, there are only 12 lines, and they don't rhyme. But, I read it like a poem anyway and decided I liked it very much. I think I might call it "The Public School." I hope you enjoy it.

Awareness

2009-12-07T04:57:00.000-08:00

So I was up until 1:30am trying to solder the new fixtures together in the downstairs shower and I'm feeling strangely euphoric at 8:00am, looking forward to talking about Dubliners this week with my advanced seniors. We're studying the book in the order Joyce intended: childhood, adolescence, maturity, and public life. They're doing well with the stories and I think our study of Heart of Darkness really prepared them for the subtlety of "literary" writing. I introduced them to these stories with "Araby," and then "An Encounter," and we're looking at "The Sisters" last in the childhood section, just because I find it the most obscure story in the section (due to the religious stuff), and I knew it wouldn't make a strong first impression.

Reading Dubliners again has really rekindled my love for the craft of the short story. Naysayers who love the opinion that Joyce would never get published today can keep their negativity to themselves as far as I'm concerned. Joyce might experience difficulty getting into print today for the same reason there are scads of brilliant writers out there with the same problem...he'd probably suffer for his art today just like he suffered for his art back then. Almost never a bad thing.

Anyway. Onto the nature of epiphany. It strikes me that epiphany is the same thing as realizing our flaws...at least these seem to be the nature of the epiphanies in the childhood section of Dubliners. We're children, all of us and it's only through utter scrutiny of our self that we grow and become self-aware. The epiphanies are not always encouraging, but the alternative, walking around with your mouth hanging open, blissfully unaware, is worse I guess. I'd like to say I'd rather be a child again...unaware...but it's not true. Knowing that I was unaware was more painful than the process of becoming aware. After careful scrutiny I have decided I am not very skilled with solder.

This realization will not stop me from trying again.

Overdue Check-up

2009-11-25T10:57:00.000-08:00

I just spent over an hour putting in a glass block window in my basement... while Wyatt was napping... and now I've got that expandable yellow foam all over my hands and it kind of feels like dead skin. It's gross. The window, however, is very nice. It lets in a lot of light and you don't have to worry about looking up there and seeing a face. Especially since I'm tiling the once nasty shower down there. I will be showering down there. I will... probably not. But if I ever have the need to...

I've been meaning to write something about health reform, but I haven't read the bill and know very little about what's going on. So, you may ask, why do I feel I have something to say? Many reasons:

1) You know something big is happening when a random guy with a curly blonde mullet (and a scar across his throat) wants to fight you over the topic of health care reform during your wife's 30th birthday celebration.

2) "They're going to fine you $20,000 and put you in jail if you choose the wrong doctor!"

3) A bumper sticker reading "Socialism is a great idea until you run out of other people's money" next to one reading "Keep the change" with a picture of an American flag sporting a hammer and sickle on a car parked at a city building.

4) Someone framed (framed!) a political cartoon depicting a large-eared Obama kicking one of the wheels off Uncle Sam's wheelchair and hung it in the staff lunchroom.

5) Scads of elderly protesting (I caught this for a minute on the news- my father was watching) in Washington with picket signs.

6) The realization that the greatest enemy of the social revolution sparked by young people of of the 1960s were other young people of the 1960s who grew up wanting to censor the spokespeople of their generation... and still work at it.

7) The fact that many of these people trust their sons and daughters with public school teachers who work for the state, but can't imagine trusting their bodies with doctors who work for the state.

8) The fact that there are many people in the country who define themselves by what limits them.

9) The fact that the prospect of equality still scares the shit out of a lot of people and causes them to say and do many irrational things, most of which, if they had an ounce of self-awareness, might seem absurd.

10) The fact that a lot of the people who will benefit the most from health care reform are hell bent to see it fail.

No Class

2009-11-17T12:37:00.000-08:00

Between being a dad and an English teacher, I have been working with my wife on finding a new home, and I have made up my mind not to slander any persons, places, or school systems in this post.

We have rebelled against what I call "cookie-cutter" development homes, built on .360 acres or less. When I look at the symmetry of the roof lines in these developments, something dark moves within. I imagine myself as Jack Torrance running amok, laying my axe into the neighbor's SUV, their white vinyl picket fence, their perfectly sculpted topiary bushes. I think I would do fine in isolation. I think I'd have to be committed if, while looking out my kitchen window, sipping coffee, I see my neighbor some twenty feet away hosing the mud from his four-wheeler and singing along to Kid Rock's latest, glossy bit of plagiarism. If left to my own devices, I might take to glowering at my neighbor's military flags and committing small acts of civil disobedience to give members of the respective homeowner's associations something to talk about at their meetings. The thought that I might end up in such an environment has me grinding my teeth and reciting "Earthquake" by Charles Bukowski.

Considering these facts, most of the homes in Medina and Wadsworth (at least those in our price range), are Stepford Wife approved. My wife, on the other hand, feels pretty much the same way as I do about the "cookie-cutters." That said, we've been looking since April of 2008, have walked through numerous open houses, had discussions ranging from argument to lecture to rant to bargain (collective and interest based), and have learned a lot about each other's wants, but have only been able to talk seriously about two homes. We've looked at over 60. One of the two is in Wadsworth, and the only thing saving it from being too cookie-cutter is its unique interior layout and the fact that it butts up against a park. So, we would have land, but just not our land, which might be okay. However, I have suspected that this might make our dwelling the stomping ground for the obligatory passel of Stepford-brats populating the area. That and the price of this house is a little above what we've been looking at. Houses are more expensive in Wadsworth, but the taxes are much lower than in Medina.

The other house is in Marshallville. It is a large home, sits on just over two acres, and is adjacent to an old cemetery. Some people might consider this last feature undesirable, but yours truly thinks it's much cooler than an association recreation center or a community pool. My wife likes the house as well as the little ravine at the back of the property. My only hesitations come from learning 1) There are construction loans that have not been paid by the owners (I don't really know what this means or if it is a problem for potential buyers) 2) There is a sophisticated wood burning setup tied into the heating system, which means a) piles of wood and lots of smoke b) potential high heating bills without said wood and smoke 3) My drive into work will only be shortened by a minute, from 35 to 34. 4) I know nothing about Smithville schools (Green, Wayne country), other than the fact that they are rated "Effective" (as opposed to Wadsworth and Medina's "Excellent with Distinction"), or about Marshallville in general. I never know how much stock to put in those state ratings anyway.

We have both spent quote a lot of time and energy looking for our dream home, and it has been fun yet frustrating. I almost think there could be a class on homebuying. Probably, there is. I also think there should be classes on just about everything. Choosing a religion, dealing with parents (your own as well as those of your students), talking to the opposite sex, how not to be a doormat, and probably most important, how not to end up like Jack Torrance.

Reading Workshop 9

2009-11-06T11:21:00.001-08:00

If Chuck Norris were a character in your book, explain how his presence would affect the plot.

"...he would find Holden and force him to go to school by roundhouse kicking him in the face."

"Every ministry would simply become The Ministry of Chuck Norris and everyone would watch Walker: Texas Ranger on their telescreens 24/7"

"...he would kill them all in one blow using only his chin."

"...he would appear only after Jonathan Livingston Seagull attains Zen mastery and the ability to teleport."

"...he would probably turn Elizabeth Bennett into a cowboy loving bad girl and steal her from Mr. Darcey"

Our Youth... continued

2009-11-03T17:47:00.000-08:00

This assignment caused all of these things to happen.

I have written fact and figures in a notebook, but I plan to ignore them for this post, and tell you instead what I have learned over the past days based upon my memory of that time. I have learned that skim milk, water and chocolate syrup all mixed together looks like dirty water when one of my students pulled this confection from his book bag, in a clear plastic water bottle, told us he filled it in a mud puddle this morning, and proceeded to drink. His presentation was on the lack of drinkable water in Africa and I'm pretty sure he could teach better than me on most days. Often I feel that I've lost my dramatic flair and have kept only the madness.

I have learned that a cosmetics company called Lush makes their products with natural materials by hand and does not test on animals. I have learned what a shampoo bar is and where to get a pretty good one should I so desire.

I have learned that women are often conscripted into rebel armies in Africa to cook. Often these women are the victims of sexual imposition and later outcast by their communities.

I have learned that the Black Hawk Down incident was caused in 1993 by American forces being dispatched by George Bush to sort out why UN foodstuffs were not reaching the Somalian citizens. Many US soldiers and many Somalian militiamen lost their lives. The leader of the Somalian troops was apprehending the foodstuffs before the people could get it. This information juxtaposed with Matt Damon's face on a flier sponsoring clean water initiatives in Africa made me wonder if American celebrities are doing more good in the world than the US Armed Forces... not out of any greater sense of duty (I'm sure the sense of duty is greater for men and women in the Armed Forces), but by the gentleness and generosity of their approach. I really think it's something else that America's wealthiest and most famous citizens have taken upon their backs the burden of confronting the world's problems. There is something wonderful in this. It makes me wish I was a celebrity so I could do something good for the world with my fame and well scrubbed face and my money. I'm planning on looking for a magnet shaped as a ribbon for my car that proclaims Support Philanthropic Celebrities.

I have really enjoyed teaching lately. Some days I think I need it more than they do.

Our Youth

2009-10-29T10:49:00.000-07:00

So this new post is going to be about me, not my classroom, though it is very tempting to write about what a wonderful job they're doing researching the difficulties plaguing the life of Africa... eh, nevermind. I'm going to write about that instead. It's far more interesting than little old me.

Three students presented today first period. The first presentation was themed "We Don't Own the World" and focused on vegetarianism. Here's what we learned. 1) In order to feed a meat eater (someone like me) it takes four times the amount of land necessary to feed a vegetarian. 2) KFC and McDonald's practices debeaking of chickens and raises them in farm factories to die... we feed Wyatt chicken McNuggets when we take him to McDonald's to play. This makes me sad because he's cute and so are chickens. Maybe Ted Nugent has it right.

The second presentation focused on the AIDS epidemic in Africa. Here are some startling facts: 1) Every day AIDS kills 6,300 people. 2) 8,500 people are newly infected everyday 3) About 70% of the worldwide population of infected live in Africa... this sickness seems to be spreading due to a lack of education about preventative measures. Storytelling and superstition trump science in their culture.

The third presentation was about poaching. It seems most animals are targets for poachers to "strip" the way cars are stripped in this country by criminals for parts that can get them money. But cars don't lay bleeding where they're disfigured: animals do. The following animals are poached in Africa: Elephants (ivory tusks-hide), Rhinos (ivory horn-hide), Leopards (hide), Lions (hide), Zebras (hide and tails), giraffe (hide), and the Dik-Dik (bones).

In all the presentations were inspiring and compelled by a close study of Heart of Darkness, Christen's visit and research done entirely in a computer lab.

When the presentations are over, I have a short video and lesson to teach them about the 30 Human Rights outlined in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights created in 1948 by United Nations.

Private Detective: Christen Wilcox

2009-10-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

Christen graduated from the vocational high school where I teach in 2005, and came back to speak to a group of my seniors in October of 2009. I remember that her as a bright fiction writer and poet. She was also very quiet: the kind of girl who could easily blend with the hooded teenage multitudes. My first memory of Christen involved a literature share: a student reading a poem to the class about drunk driving. This particular student claimed to have written the poem. Christen approached me after class, “Mr. Skarl, that girl did not write that poem. She found it on the Internet.” This incident mixed with Christen’s ability to entertain deep questions, for which there was no key or answer guide, helped me to see her as a truth seeker. I made no mystery about the fact that I thought she was brilliant, and encouraged her to submit stories to our then school magazine. Because I was in charge of student writing, everything she gave to me made it to print. At the time I think she was kind of embarrassed at the sheer amount of volume her pieces took up in the publication. I hope she felt as if her efforts were validated.

In 2005, she was studying in the Teacher Education Academy program then went on to a liberal arts Christian college in Chicago (I think it might have been North Park) where she was involved in outreach missions to the city’s homeless. I remember she was often downcast recalling the city’s solution: to build a wall and hide them from public view. Christen often recalled the other “Christians” at her school who would simply drop off food under a bridge and then back to the comforts of middle class American life. Christen was fond of hanging out with the homeless and listening to their stories. I was impressed, but have to admit fearing for her safety. This would become, I would soon discover, a theme in our relationship.

While in Chicago she headed an Invisible Children chapter and become engrossed with the phenomenon of child soldiering. After a while she started to feel as if she were representing something about which she didn’t know enough. She visited Africa for the first time through a New Zealand organization called the Global Volunteer Network. She sold what she considered superfluous personal possessions, did some fundraising, bought a plane ticket and arrived in Liberia. She chose Liberia because there would be less of a language barrier. Christen spoke to us candidly about Liberians. “They know every capital of every American state... Their flag is like ours,” she said, “but with one star instead of fifty.” I asked if they are an American colony. “Kind of,” she said. Christen revealed that Liberia, formerly known as The Gold Coast, was formed by the United States. “We took freed slaves to Liberia and put them in charge.” She told us that today, people who can only be described as indentured servants work at extracting rubber for US Firestone, and gather cocoa beans for US Corporations like Nestle and Hershey. Christen finds it curious that those who were former slaves would build a system nearly identical to the one they escaped. Having interviewed over one hundred Africans, she was shocked that the trauma of growing up as an indentured servant was more horrific for some than living the life of a child soldier. After speaking for a while with Christen, the dusty language of the colonial works on our syllabus took on new significance. The living tremor behind Conrad’s expression “germs of empire,” and his outrage for the Belgian Congo became easier to grasp after hearing Christen explain US interests in Liberia.

Christen further educated us. The capital of Liberia is Monrovia after US President James Monroe, and Liberians consider themselves American. “They say they’re more American than Hawaiians,” she said, laughing. “So they love our culture?” one student asked. “Yes,” she said, “but the US has admitted to assassinating their presidents and has offered arms support to all three rebel armies... I almost want them to hate me,” she says, “but they think if they make a friend with a white person that it will change their life.”

One student asked why since we have financial problems in our own country, are we spending money to fix problems there? It occurred to me that Christen seemed to be the only one of us in the room spending her own money to help and I was embarrassed by the provincial attitude that nurtures these kinds of questions. “Do they even want our help?”

Christen didn’t miss a beat. “Good question. Some of the newer generations of Africans want US involvement, but in a way they’ve been brainwashed into thinking our presence is a good thing. They don’t understand our culture. They think America is paradise. Liberians don’t understand credit and how we have what we can’t afford.” She related the opinion of an elderly professor named Sweet Africa that she befriended. “He’s old enough to remember how it was before we got really involved. He doesn’t want our help.” Before the government of Liberia was implemented the villages were run by tribal communities, all with different religious beliefs. “They don’t really don’t know how to make an imposed central government work the way it’s supposed to.” Christen maintained that most Africans believe in spirits and ancestors, not voting on widespread laws and issues. “As far as aide goes,” Christen said, “The US values resources like rubber, oil and diamonds... sometimes when we aid countries we’re doing it for ourselves.” She told the story of a young man she befriended in Liberia who had inherited some land with gold on it, and he laughingly admitted that he was afraid to claim it. “If white people find out, I’ll be the first to die.”

One student asked what the environment was like in Liberia. Christen explained that the city has restaurants, cars, and that the streets are packed. Apparently cars are much less expensive in Africa, and though there is an emerging middle class, it is still a city of marked disparity between the wealthy and the poor. Tourism is thriving, and there are universities. Taxis are reluctant to travel outside of Monrovia due to the general practice of disarmament. Christen explained that when a soldier’s “service” is up, he is given $150 for his gun and he’s turned onto the streets. Most soldiers, Christen explained, were exposed to drugs at a young age and are still addicted, so their $150 goes toward cocaine or other drugs (some “blue stuff” she didn’t recognize), and when the money runs out, often a desperate person will turn to crime, which is why taxis are reluctant to take passengers outside the city.

A few students asked about AIDS and Malaria in Africa. Christen had contracted malaria four times. Students asked what it was like. She said it was an intense fever that induced muscle cramps and delirium. “It’s the number one killer of children in Africa, but treatment only costs four dollars.” In America, the treatment for Malaria costs seven thousand dollars. Christen knows because she had been treated for the disease both on African and US soil. In Africa, AIDS victims are stigmatized much like they are in the US, but superstition considers them downright bad luck. There are many superstitions surrounding the AIDS phenomenon in Africa. She said that some tribes believe the only way to get rid of it is to have sex with a virgin. Free AIDS tests and condoms are available, yet some Christian groups are against educating people in safe sex because they believe the answer is abstinence. In some African countries it’s against the law to be gay. In Ghana there’s a minimum seven-year prison sentence.

Some students asked how one could go about traveling to Africa on a budget.

Christen explained what “woofing” is. Apparently this is a way to sustain oneself in Africa. WWOOF is an acronym for Willing Workers on Organic Farms. If you agree to work on the farm, apparently you can stay on the land.

“So what did you do over there?”

Christen said, this last time I worked with a psychologist and interviewed child soldiers. “Most of the questions were morbid. War is morbid. Stories of people being hacked to pieces, camp lines demarcated with intestines. There’s betrayal, cruelty, and murder.”

“Don’t you just want to cry?” someone asked. Christen said, “you have to keep yourself under control so your reaction doesn’t make them feel even more guilty.”

Christen has interviewed more than 100 child soldiers, and has worked closely with a Harvard professor in the psychological rehabilitation of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Christen was also responsible for teaching adult literacy. “I spent most of my time with African friends, all former child soldiers, drumming and hanging out on the beach,” she said. “Trying to work out a beat.”

Christen was animated when describing the process of helping one of her friends learn how to write in English. She described the process of tracing letters. After months of one on one tutoring this man was able to write a letter in English to his daughter. “That was awesome,” she said.

Someone asked, “So what’s the war about?”

Christen claimed to feel like a detective trying to piece together printed information (most of which is unreliable, apparently) and stories from the native people. She felt if you asked five different soldiers what they were fighting for, you’d get five different answers. She reinforced that these soldiers are children dressed in costumes, like pink wigs, and crazy Elton John glasses, or naked, often high on drugs like cocaine, who have been told that if they do not kill then they will be killed. Her descriptions reminded me of a particularly harrowing passage of Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian in which the natives are rushing into battle wearing piecemeal uniforms: “ A legion of horribles, hundreds in number, half naked or clad in costumes attic or biblical or wardrobed out of a fever dream with the skins of animals and silk finery and pieces of uniform still tracked with the blood of prior owners, coats of slain dragoons, frogged and braided cavalry jackets, one in a stovepipe hat and one with an umbrella and one in white stockings and a bloodstained weddingveil...” I recalled that Ishmael Beah, narrator of Long Way Gone, was kept relatively complacent by a general who promised him revenge for his parents’ death. Christen reinforced the point that African society used to be tribal: very small groups who looked to a chief or village elder for guidance. Their way of life was wrapped up in folklore and storytelling. Once they gained independence (Ghana was the first), they didn’t know how to work within the system of government that was put in place for them. Someone asked whether or not it seemed as if imperial powers were making sure the land was in turmoil, making it impossible for organization that might allow Africans to charge more for their resources.

In the past, Liberians would farm what they eat, mostly rice and potato greens. Now the UN imports food and sets the price. Potable water is often imported as well. The cost of food and water is set by the UN. I said this arrangement reminds me a lot of what Daniel Quinn was writing about in Ishmael. Christen agreed. Most electricity in villages is pirated from lines to the city.

The last question of the day was, “Why isn’t there more international attention paid to what’s happening in Africa?”

Christen felt that there was attention being paid to the problem but felt that the celebrity attention and the types of commercials featuring babies with swollen bellies and flies crawling on their eyes makes Africans out to seem weak, desperate, lazy and stupid. “They’re not. They’re more happy than nearly everyone I know in the United States... most Liberians under thirty speak four to five languages.” Christen also felt that part of the problem was that most Americans don’t know what the word imperialism means, much less the fact that Africa has only been independent for fifty years or so.

The bell rang and my seniors scrambled to collect their belongings and move the desks back into rows. I stepped into the hallway for duty and spoke briefly with Christen. I had wired her some money when she was in Africa. I had intended for Christen to use the money for food and necessities, but in typical Christen fashion, she told me that she had spent the money on others. With smiles and a hug Christen and I parted ways. Before long she had blended into the flow of students.

Nowadays I don’t get as philosophical as I used to. Once upon a time I could catch a fantastic buzz just watching the sun set over the curvature of the horizon. Something as simple as a cat’s purr could convince me that I had a finger on some living pulse of creation. I have to remind myself, when I’m reading a book that rings true or even here trying to write lines that add up to something, when we’re lucky enough to touch with our hands or minds or hearts the living pulse, it’s like gleaning the beat of a song.

Once upon a Beat

2009-10-19T18:00:00.000-07:00

Hello Internet, I was wondering what has happened to the Beat generation. I've looked for them in the pages of my high school American Literature textbook and... can you guess? They're not there! While scouring you (Internet) for resources I have found many wonderful documentaries... no really. Not just a bunch of video montages made by college students set to their girlfriend mispronouncing words from "HOWL"... serious film. The more I study the Beats, the more I wonder if they're best left out of the survey of American literature most high school students have dolloped onto their consciousness like a fartsound spoon of cafeteria confectionery. Why leave out the Beats, folks? Why?

I understand the intellectual cowardice that rules public education. In the "HOWL" obscenity trial one of those standing against the poem was a public school teacher. We have always been part of THE MAN's tribe. Not quite gun and badge carriers, but close enough to call it. Am I right? So what's this trying to be with the hip crowd. Settle back into your Robert Frost, Norman Rockwell campy Americana, drink your Ovaltine and lower your voice. This is a library, need I remind you.

I found a lesson plan that actually calls for the teacher to play a recording of "HOWL." I mean, am I pushing the envelope too much? Should I just be content with teaching the "masters"? My book includes some of the Harlem renaissance writers... shouldn't I just leave well enough alone?

I've spent a significant amount of time with Ginsberg's poetry. I read On the Road. I know Corso and Snyder's stuff. I can't help but feel these are representative contemporary American writers. Were they any more radical than the Romantics? Maybe just a little bit. I don't know. Maybe I should just be content to put them out on the shelves and point the occasional beat soul their way. Maybe discovering these writers on your own is more gratifying. Maybe I need to stop being a pansy and just xerox 11" X 17" copies of "Bomb" for the class to read out loud. I'm not trying to be cute...

I suppose I'm having these thoughts having come off teaching The Catcher in the Rye. Isn't that part of the story? Can we be so bold as to consider it a critique of American values in the 1940s. Isn't Holden a Beat in cocoon? Haven't upper middle class, capitalist, white Christian values failed him? Isn't that the point? How can a teacher teach The Catcher in the Rye and not go on to the Beats? What am I supposed to do? Pass out copies of "The Road Not Taken" and tell them "Holden took the easy way out, and if you're not careful his failure will be your failure too." Should I be stroking my cop moustache while I say it?

Ah, it's all too much. I'm going to sleep. Peace.

Hello, Africa!

2009-10-05T16:59:00.000-07:00

Grade Level 12
Advanced English

Choose any one of the following activities for our study of Heart of Darkness

1. Good readers ask questions of a text. Keep a reading journal to record yours. A reading journal should be an informal piece of writing done after each significant session you have with the book. A reading journal should do all of the following:

a) List unknown words. You will look these up and write down the definitions.

b) Ask basic questions such as who, what, where, when, how?

c) Allow the reader to react to the philosophical issues of a text. This story addresses each of the following philosophical questions, for which there may be no definitive answers:

• Is evil an inherent human trait?
• Should women be protected from harsh realities?
• What is the nature of human superiority? Is there such a thing?
• Is Heart of Darkness a racist text?
• Is colonialism ethical? What stance does the book take on empire?
• How should one go about telling a story? Explore Conrad’s philosophy of storytelling. Should a story be a kernel, or the haze that brings out a glow?

d) Reflect upon imagery (light and dark) and metaphor/symbolism.

2. Africa is still a vastly troubled nation. Research modern dilemmas (such as child soldiering, the war in Darfur, etc.) and prepare an informative presentation to the class including handouts and visual aides.

3. Animal rights take a backseat to human rights in Conrad’s novella. Research the
devastating effects the need for animal products has caused in the animal kingdom and prepare an informative presentation to the class including handouts and visual aides. Your presentations need not be restricted to elephants, but should include current information about the ivory trade.

4. Ivory is just one of the sought after natural resources of Africa. Research the
other natural resources that have caused conflict in the land and prepare an informative presentation to the class including handouts and visual aides.

2009-09-30T18:50:00.000-07:00

We're in the middle of the project designed to introduce Holden to modern music. There have been some really great presentations so far. The insights these students have are incredible. For example someone said how Holden sees women, girlfriends as a solution to his problems; yet another said Holden needs a girlfriend. I feel two ways about this: the truth is, I think, that we're all co dependant on somebody, regardless of how we deny it... that's love, right? And love is the whole point of this mess, so, it can't be bad. And I agree, Holden needs a hug. On the other hand, I can understand how teenagers are wary to give their hearts away, especially to the opposite sex. The potential for hurt is great, yet I've always preferred people who love without regard for their own safety. I think Holden might become one of these people. Maybe not. I mean look at JD Salinger. He took the love away. All because he got his feelings hurt. That kind of sucks in my opinion.

I feel the need to name-drop a few of the new bands I've discovered through this project, so here they are. Hollywood Undead, Mewithoutyou, Eyes Set to Kill,TUFF. Also, some of the lyrics I keep on reserve for students who want me to give them a song to interpret (and there are a few) are: "Sweet Jane" The Velvet Underground, "As I Come of Age" CSN, "Heart Cooks Brain" Modest Mouse, "Hey You" Pink Floyd, "Let It Be" Beatles, "Blowing in the Wind" Dylan, "I Am a Rock" Simon/Garfunkel

I think they really sense the humor as well as the sorrow. They get that Holden is torn up over Allie's death. They also get that he doesn't have any friends because he'd be kind of a drag to hang out with. Holden talks about being a good golfer in this book. I think golfing with Holden would probably be pretty fun.

I have been reading a lot of it out loud, because hey, everyone likes story hour, right?

The Poltergeist in the Rye

2009-09-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters just came out. There's a part of me, the ninety year old literature professor, that is appropriately horrified, but there's the other part too- the kid that would rather read about a tanar'ri named Ertu from the Abyss than the whims of pampered aristocrats-he's appropriately horrified also... and loving it. I tried reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and while it was amusing, I couldn't suspend my disbelief long enough to enjoy it in any way other than in an "isn't this quirky-and-kind-of-hip" self consciousness that wasn't too much fun. In the end I could have probably ordered an ice tray with space invaders shaped inserts from hipstergifts.com, spent less money, and got the same (if not more) satisfaction while drinking Kool Aide... rather than subjecting myself (again) to 200+ pages of British dialogue.

Yet... I was thinking what would Holden do if, while in New York, a zombie outbreak occurred? I mean, he's one step away from suicidal-maybe he'd want to join them? Or, maybe he'd get satisfaction from the way they resumed the mundane tasks of their mundane lives. It might be kind of interesting. I don't know how you'd use it in the classroom, or even IF you could. Or maybe, instead of zombies you could use werewolves. Like a werewolves of London kind of thing in New York city. I'm not a very big fan of werewolves, or vampires to tell you the truth, but maybe you could use ghosts. Holden is haunted, figuratively, why not propose a prompt in which Holden is haunted literally? C'mon, even Shakespeare used ghosts. Plus ghosts aren't really that hip right now. Nor ever. I think Casper ruined that possibility... and that movie with Patrick Swayze, God rest his soul, so you don't have to feel like a sell-out.

Holden the Optimist

2009-09-11T10:45:00.001-07:00

We learn so much about what Holden thinks is phony in his world, yet we get a strong sense of his value system throughout the book. Your assignment is to find a cause, movement, organization, or charity in our world that Holden would not think is phony.

1) In 300 words, write why you think Holden could get on board with this cause, organization, or charity. You must use specific language from the book.

2) Familiarize us with your cause, organization, or charity. How did you hear about it? What are its goals? Is it possible for anyone to join?

The name of your cause, organization, or charity is due to me by ____________. Presentations will begin ________________. If you do not have a cause, organization, or charity by _______________, I will provide you with one.

Holden the Beat

2009-09-10T10:54:00.001-07:00

As a class, we are going to make a mixed CD for Holden Caulfield introducing him to modern music.

You must choose one song with school-appropriate lyrics to appear on the mix. You will be required to write at least 300 words and to give a short presentation (including playing the song) to the class based on the following criteria:

1. Please don’t choose songs at random. Choose the song not necessarily because you like the guitar solo, but because you think it fits Holden in some way. Maybe you think its message might be helpful to Holden. Maybe you think Holden could relate to it in some way. Maybe you think it attempts to teach us something valuable about life. Regardless, have a legitimate reason for picking the song, and be able to explain why Holden Caulfield would like this song using specific references to the novel.

2. Analyze the lyrics. What elements of poetry do you think it includes? (figurative language/symbolism, irony— hyperbole, sarcasm—narrative devices)

3. In order to present the song, you must have a CD with your song and a copy of the lyrics for me.

*This project will be graded on effort, creativity, how well you demonstrate your understanding of the novel, and how well you complete all parts of the assignment.

**Turn in a copy of the lyrics and the CD by ------------- or as soon as you have them. I will choose a song for you if I don’t have materials by this deadline. Presentations will be ----------------.

Holden the Remote

2009-09-04T11:25:00.001-07:00

Bellwork #4

We know Holden does not like movies because he tells us, however, he never mentions television.

1. If you were to hand Holden Caulfield a copy of this week’s TV Guide, which shows do you think he would express interest in? Why?

2. What modern television shows do you think Holden would never watch, even if you paid him? Why?

I usually get some good responses on this one. Kids think he'd like House for the sarcasm and Stewie for the innocent genius dichotomy. One student thought he'd like Anime because he was the fencing manager. Most kids say he'd hate reality shows because they're phony, as well as sitcoms and Lifetime.

Digital Storytelling: Pre-reading Activity

2009-09-01T06:37:00.000-07:00

Like most good ideas, I stole this one. Here's the gist: arrange four images on a slide (I used powerpoint) and have students put them in chronological order. You'll be amazed at the stories that come from nowhere. Use groups of three or so and let them figure out the story. I toyed with having them write it down, but it's much more dynamic if they just start telling a story out loud. I used these images to prepare them for The Catcher in the Rye. Afterward, you can tell them the order of the images as per the book: in Holden's case, it's the broken window, the F, the train and then the city.

Bruises

2009-08-29T19:50:00.000-07:00

This year has been great! I know, it's only been three days and I'm acting like a neophyte, but having the advanced students at the beginning of the day really helps set the tone. I always tell my last period they better be my best class because if I go home mad I'll kick my dog. They always laugh like someone is punching them in the gut, which is, I suppose, the kind of laugh I'm the best at getting.

Who welds a balance beam perpendicular to the playground exit? Kids fall down. This is how my kindergarten playground was set up. It makes me wonder... I'm not teaching fiction writing this year and my lunch is at 9:55 am, yet I feel good.

I hope to teach some new titles this year. Among them are Grimm's Fairy Tales, Dubliners, and Crime and Punishment. I asked the advanced students to respond to 10 statements on the first day. The results were a lot of fun and inspired some discussion.

1. Humanity is a brief pulsation in the black hole of eternity

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5
Strongly Disagree Strongly Agree

2. Learning about human suffering is not important because it teaches us nothing about ourselves.

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5
Strongly Disagree Strongly Agree

3. The courses of our lives are dictated by chance.

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5
Strongly Disagree Strongly Agree

4. I alone exist.

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5
Strongly Disagree Strongly Agree

5. Dignity is an essential element to a fulfilling life.

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5
Strongly Disagree Strongly Agree

6. Murder is always wrong.

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5
Strongly Disagree Strongly Agree

7. Disney is the highest authority on Earth.

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5
Strongly Disagree Strongly Agree

8. Society is just one way humanity combats the darkness inherent within the individual.

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5
Strongly Disagree Strongly Agree

9. Thinking about the past and/or the future is a waste of time.

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5
Strongly Disagree Strongly Agree

10. The printed word still matters.

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5
Strongly Disagree Strongly Agree

Back to School

2009-08-20T06:40:00.000-07:00

As I've said before, I've had a hard time reading and writing this summer, with the exception of the poem that bled out the other night, I've hardly written anything. Part of me thinks I deserve the time off after writing Mark's story, but another part of me, the mean one with the implements of medieval torture, has been whispering that I'm wasting time, what talent I have, and as well as the few ideas I've had.

With school looming ahead, I'm sad for the end of summer, as I've been able to finish some home improvement projects and spend time with Wyatt. I'm glad for the promise of structure (however mind-numbing) and the stimulus of meeting a bunch of new teenagers and seeing some old faces. But I will miss the little face peeking over the crib rail every morning.

The first task of preparing for a new year is to revamp sylllabi. Since I will only be teaching two preps, Advanced British and World, and American Literature, I hope to take the time and rehaul them completely. Starting the year with The Catcher in the Rye has worked very well with American Lit students in the past, and I plan to do the same thing this year. Last year, due to a challenging sixth period class I devised twenty or so bellwork journal responses for The Catcher in the Rye that worked well and were a lot of fun. The intent was not only to focus their attention after lunch, but to try and make the book more relevant to today. I'll post some of these journal prompts as soon as I can re-open them, and in the meantime I'm going to consider my starting place with the advanced students. It's always difficult, and I don't know why. Beowulf is a logical starting place, but I spend more time on Gardner's Grendel anyway, and that can be an off-putting book due mainly to its philosophical nature, and the year I started with Plato and Aristotle went badly, much less Sartre and Hume. So, last year we started with Oedipus, which seems logical to me. It's a difficult play to teach, and I have trouble myself discovering why it's such a masterpiece. I prefer Antigone, myself. It seems less like pantheon propaganda and more like a story with real heroism, conflict and sorrow.

Evolution

2009-08-13T09:32:00.000-07:00

The house is finished. Well, we still need to have the gutters and downspouts hung, but that probably won't happen until next week. In the mean time, I'm going to post some before and after pictures of the siding.

Trial Run

2009-07-28T11:43:00.000-07:00

I sailed on Tuesday for the first time. The boat, a Caprice, was about 14 feet long, made in the early 1970s in Canada, blue fiberglass, with some teak wood trim. We went to Nimasilla reservoir on Portage Lakes because they do not allow gasoline engines. I would have taken pictures, but my phone got wet and malfunctioned. I'll go ahead and list some of the terms I learned.

On a boat, rope is called a line. When the line is attached or otherwise associated with a sail, it's called a sheet. There were two sheets on the jib, starboard (right side) and port (left side). We controlled the mainsail with a system of pulleys (three in all, I believe). We lowered the keel because the wind was a bit gusty. The keel was controlled by a rope and pulley: the idea there is that the keel lowers into the water under the boat, and helps keep the hull on an even tack when you're sailing against the wind. When you're sailing with the wind the keel can be retracted to lessen drag and increase speed. The keel also helps the boat stay upright, which we needed on more than one occasion.

"Hanking on" is when you're attaching the jib to its stay (forestay) with "hanks." These are little spring loaded hooks much like those found on a dog leash.

A batten in a long, thin strip of wood one uses to stiffen the mainsail. No, it's not the same batten for the hatches.

Coming about is when you switch directions, and therefore, have to duck the boom. We did this a lot, which is the trickiest sort of thing to manage, I think. You've got the tiller, the main sheet, and you're trying to switch seats, hoping all the while 1) the boom doesn't knock your mate into the drink, 2) the boat doesn't tip and throw you both in there, 3) you can keep on tack, which is difficult, because the tiller is very long, and you can't step over it because of the boom, and sometimes you end up catching it with some part of you as you're switching sides.

Sailing was a lot of work. It was also a lot of fun. My phone, once it dried out, works better than ever. I'm hoping to go again sometime soon.

Chewing the Elephant

2009-07-27T17:28:00.001-07:00

2009-07-16T07:10:00.000-07:00

Where's the Magic?

2009-07-12T04:56:00.000-07:00

During the course of all this manual labor I have stopped writing (besides this) and I haven't been able to really read anything. It's like another part of my brain has taken over. I don't know if it's just post MFA blues or the allure of summer, but I feel a bit jaded with my writing. Whenever I plan to get back to the novel and redraft it, I think, "why?" I haven't even been able to publish anything! Who's going to want a book from me? I'm not sitting on the pity pot, I'm writing this down with the hope that, once expressed, these feelings will disappear. I guess I need to get my head into something new and forget about publishing or not publishing.

On a semi-related note, I just looked at the New York Times top 10 bestseller list and realized I have never read any books by any of these authors. and nor do I really plan on it. The #1 seller is a book by James Patterson, with (of course) another writer, called The Bathing Suit.

I'm (slowly) reading Just After Sunset, and trying to finish Death on the Installment Plan. In the meantime, I read The Zombie Survival Guide. Maybe I need to lighten up and try the NYT bestsellers?

2009-07-05T19:06:00.000-07:00

I tore out some wooden sofit today under the front porch eaves with the intent of replacing it with vinyl. 7-5-09

Update: I replaced most of the front sofit with vinyl. I bought another saw. A Craftsman mini-circular saw. This thing is awesome! 7-6-09

Tangent!

I've decided, after watching My Name Is Bruce, to list ten reasons why I think Bruce Campbell should be canonized:

10) When children dream of superheroes, they all have Bruce Campbell's face

9) Who else from Michigan owns that many Hawaiian shirts?

8) "Gimmie some sugar, baby."

7) Your primitive intellect wouldn't understand.

6) He's the only man in the world better with a saw than me.

5) He did deliver us from the Deadites

4) Without direction, his instinct is to flip off the camera.

3) Could YOU defeat your evil twin?

2) All you existentialists, can you think of a better name than Ash?

1) The man starts a chain-saw with his teeth, okay?

Well, there it is. Critics please e-mail me at captainskarl@gmail.com, or feel free to post here. I'm sure I forgot all kinds of information that may be valuable to the Catholic church. Talk to you soon.

2009-07-02T05:36:00.000-07:00

I spent Tuesday morning pulling the benches away from the garage. I had been dreading this only because I consider the deck sacred. It came away without too much fuss thanks to the carriage bolts we used. If the whole thing had just been screwed together... or worse, nailed, it would have been a nightmare. As it was I'll probably need to replace the only board that I had to remove (the top railing board) because backing out the screws caused some damage.

This freed up the garage space, so I started there with the 1X3X8 furring strips. I've been buying them at Lowe's. They look a lot nicer than the ones I got at Carter. Lowe's is a little bit of a hike, and they cost 10 cents more there, but they're straight and have clean edges. So, the Alero has been behaving well as my impromptu work truck. I can fit 36 boards in it. That sounds like a lot, but it really isn't, as you can see from the pictures.

After all this wood cutting I broke down and bought a miter saw. I went with the Ridgid 10" MS1065LZA 28513, which should make cutting those pesky furring strips much easier. Also, I bought an Irwin plywood blade that I plan to use for cutting the vinyl siding. Apparently the more teeth the better, so the blade I got has 180 teeth, and I guess you're supposed to turn it backward so as not to splinter the vinyl. I'll let you know how it works.

I ran into a few difficult spots yesterday after the garage was finished. There's a trim board along the gables I'm stuck working with. It's nailed onto the house and catches the nails from the roof decking too, so removing it is not an option. It shouldn't be that big of a deal, but it extends out farther than the furring strips. Also, there's flashing above the brickmold on all the windows. It's going to take some time to finagle that stuff... I don't want to tear it out.

All this work as made me 1) sore 2) aware of the fact that building, or remodeling, is like writing. How, you ask? Everyone does things their own way. If you want 15 different opinions on how something should be done, go to the hardware store. However, at the end of the day it's you and your saw, or you and your hammer and the only person you're trying to please is yourself. But you start off as an apprentice, I suppose. I don't know. It's weird.

Warning: Hard Hat Area

2009-06-24T18:15:00.000-07:00

I put vinyl windows in the garage today. All three windows cost over 400 dollars. I bought them at Lowe's. I don't know where else to get stuff like this. All three were special order sliders with faux glazing strips (only because those I took out were real glass panels... and about 50 years old). I'm planning on vinyl siding the house and the garage this summer, and I see the garage as the most logical place to start. Maybe I've mentioned that my grandfather built the place. Not "had it built." He built it, though I'm unsure if he did EVERYTHING himself. I'm pretty sure he called in someone to plaster the walls, and for specialty work like the cove base floor in the kitchen (now vinyl tile). Apparently my grandfather was a bad ass. He passed away in my early twenties. He was a boxer and a police officer and I have black and white pictures of him wearing a singlet. He was a very strong man, apparently, and renovating the house has, over the years, made me feel strong by virtue of the fact that I'm keeping something he started with his own sweat alive with my own sweat. It's probably a very complicated psychological thing, but I like to try and keep it simple. Work on house = good feelings. Letting house devolve into crap = bad feelings. I'm doing my best.

I've done my homework on the vinyl siding. I'm going to try and keep j-channel to a minimum. I'm using something else called window and door casing, which is 2.5" deep instead of just 1" with the j-channel. I'm spending the extra money to use a simulated hand-split shake vinyl on the peak on the house, and on the garage. Carter prices this stuff by the half square ($156), and even by the half it costs more than a whole square of 4.5 Dutchlap ($61.49). Since I'm going over redwood siding, I'll have to fur the whole thing out with strips- I'm going every 16" on center and running them with a framing nailer. This is the plan as it stands. I'll keep you updated.

You know how it is (reprieve)

2009-06-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

Sometime it's trying to speak hey joe and picking notes on country roads. Your baby doesn't let it be and I come to find out there's something more between you and me. Say it ain't so... Stab your blood into me and then / I know your eyes in the morning sun / I feel you touch me in the pouring rain / and the moment that you wander far from me / I wanna feel you in my arms again / And you come to me on a summer breeze / keep me warm in your love then you softly leave me / and it's me you need to show / how deep is your love / How deep is your love? / I really mean to learn / 'Cause we're living in a world of fools / breaking us down when they all should let us be / There's one thing to know about this town / It's 500 miles underground / and that's all right

Readers in their youth... the short story, continued

2009-06-18T15:27:00.000-07:00

Or... why not just teach whatever the heck I feel like? I think I've been feeling a lot of anxiety at the prospect of teaching only literature classes next year. There are rumors that my school is clamping down on electives. Apparently they're too small (student numbers) and too much of a scheduling hassle. I, obviously, think this would be horrible for teachers as well as students, but with public schools, sometimes it's about the kids, and sometimes it's about the money.

In the past I've had the freedom to do a lot. In fiction writing alone I've used the collections Werewolves in their Youth and Nine Stories as well as anthologies like You've Got to Read This (thanks Bob Pope), and The Oxford Anthology of American Short Stories. Some of the best discussions we ever had came from reading Werewolves in their Youth. Why? We read some of the bad Amazon book reviews, such as:

" I just read one of the stories from this book because my visiting cousin (16 years old) has it assigned for classwork. She said it was "the dumbest thing" she had ever read. Thinking she migh be missing something, I read the story myself. She is correct. This is the type of verbal diarrhea that causes young people to dislike literature. What a sad commentary on our culture that this is considered worthy of study in any context." -Erika Kendra

Isn't that hilarious! Here's another:

"Chabon is so praised, I try to find quality in his work, but it's pretentious writing, that tries so hard to be literary, and nothing in the stories or the words themselves pulls you toward the next page. I started reading a short story in this collection, and had to look up two words within the first two paragraphs. It made me feel stupid. But then I realized that I just finished reading WAR AND PEACE the week before, and had not had to look up a single word when reading THAT (the greatest novel ever written). Chabon should take a lesson from Tolstoy and try to write more naturally, and stop trying to be such an academic fop." - A Customer

The idea that looking words up makes someone feel stupid got my students laughing and stirred up. Then we debated. Half of the room took the opinions of these readers, that Chabon is spewing verbal diarrhea is an academic fop, yadda yadda yadda, while the other half tried to defend the merit of his writing. This was after we read "Spikes," which is a really good story in my opinion.

Again... the short story

2009-06-16T16:38:00.001-07:00

So Chekhov is good. He has to be, because Cheever was the Chekhov of the suburbs, and Carver was the Chekhov of... desperation. Then there's Gogol: your character should want something even if it's only a glass of water. I'll just teach "The Overcoat" and call it a day. You've got character study, conflict, social satire, magical realism... And Tolstoy! Who needs Aesop when you've got him? Parable ahoy. So now I'm never leaving Russia.

But what about Joyce? Oh buddy. You've got to have Joyce. Who wouldn't want to read a guy with an eye patch? And those epiphanies... where would we be without them? So I could theoretically teach Tolstoy, Chekhov, Gogol, Joyce and...hmmm... Cheever or Carver. I might have to go with Cheever. Sorry. He's got a better sense of humor. No eye patch, but he used to try and get journalists drunk so they couldn't interview him. And he wrote "The Death of Justina." And "Goodbye My Brother."

Then what? I'm starting to feel like some literary gasbag imagining a room with these writers' heads hanging on plaques. Of course everyone would be smoking giant cigars and talking about Hemingway's iceberg theory. Uh-oh. What about Hemingway? He's pretty good. No, nothing pretty. He's damn good.

Short Story...continued

2009-06-13T17:07:00.000-07:00

I really don't admire Maupassant, Saki, or O'Henry... it's the "twist ending" kind of thing, I guess. I prefer Roald Dahl's gruesome shorts. Stories like "Skin," "Lamb to Slaughter," "William the Conqueror," and even "Man from the South" are a lot of fun to read, probably a lot of fun to teach, but here we are again: is my job to teach what I like, or what is worthy, in this case, "genre-defining." Up until now I've been able to talk myself into teaching what is notable, but how many kids have already read "The Gift of the Magi," or "The Necklace" in seventh grade? Maybe I'd be doing them a disservice by making them read it again. Maybe I should skip this type of ironic-ending story altogether?

Turgenev? Is he worth considering? When I think of Sketches from a Hunter's Album, I think of landscape pieces. If Chekhov is "The King" of the short story, then Turgenev is Ricky Nelson. Why bother trudging through Tugenev's landscapes when Chekhov's are more vibrant?

Examining the Short Story (Part One)

2009-06-10T08:46:00.001-07:00

I know this task is folly, doomed to fail, and probably a waste of time... so why do I keep coming back to it?

As a way to put off taking down posters and organizing files, I started a list on the board regarding the short story. With the help of some folks I work with, we were trying to create a timeline if (hypothetically) one were going to teach a survey course of the short story, where to start? Where to end? What are the definitive pieces, and/or writers? Is there such a thing?

I thought the best place to start would be an exploration of Fables, Parables and Allegory, which include Fairy Tales, Oral Traditions, Mythology, and possibly even scripture, though some might object. These stories seem to be didactic in some way and usually contain morals. The problem is, there are so many different types! Grimm's Fairy Tales, The Panchatantra, Aesop, The Decameron, The 1,001 Nights, The Canterbury Tales, Mahabharata, Buddhist Scriptures, much of the Old Testament, Ovid, Norse Myths... Mother Goose?

Then there are Legends and Tall Tales to contend with. There's King Arthur, obviously, but just in America alone there are tons of tall tales, like Paul Bunyan, Pecos Bill, Brer Rabbit, Bigfoot Wallace. I haven't even investigated tall tales in other cultures.

There's a giant heap of stuff to climb over, or wade through. I like a lot of it. If it were up to me, and I suppose it is because I'm the one writing this post, I'd start with a few Aesop's fables. Something like "The Fox and the Grapes." Why? Students have been conditioned how to read this kind of story. Since they were wee tykes (probably) they've been asked to identify "the moral of the story." A lot of the selections in middle school textbooks offer some kind of message, or moral and students come to regard the story as Conrad's nutshell, their task to crack it and devour the nut, or theme or moral or lesson. By the time these students begin reading more contemporary short fiction they're unprepared for the idea that sometimes the moral is more subjective, or perhaps, there is no moral.

We talked a lot this past year about Disney, and how they tend to make everything cute (despite the racism inherit in most of the drawings... the native scene in Peter Pan, for instance. Or Song of the South--
thanks Kat ; ). It would be a blast to compare the Grimm's to Disney. I think teenagers would really get a kick out of the original versions of these stories. Allow me to digress a little... teens are growing up in a world in which everything designed for kids is super tidy: the good guys win (in fact no one is supposed to lose), the women are idealized, no one ever gets hurt that doesn't deserve it, and God loves you no matter what you do. Parents are mystified at such wild phenomenon as "goth," "emo," and "cutting." I'm not suggesting to throw the babies out with the bath water... some kids are dealing with real evil, like neglect and abuse... but I think these trends are some kids' way of saying "enough is enough, nothing seems to be at stake in our lives and we're sick of being pampered!" So... I could see how kids might get a charge out of reading "The Robber Bridegroom," "Rapunzel," or the original "Snow White." I know I did. Furthermore, how can Edward or Bella hold a candle to Hades and Persephone? Isn't the wicked step-mother in Snow White kind of like Cassiopeia? I think examining these stories can be a nice way to show how certain archetypes are born and pop up again and again.

I think it might be easy to get carried away with scripture. Our high school literature textbook features excerpts from the King James book of Genesis. Maybe toss in Cain and Abel, Abraham and Isaac... the flood. I don't know. What would be the purpose? Maybe so I wouldn't feel bad about teaching Buddhist Scriptures like "The Bodhisattva and the Preacher of Patience" and "Bodhisattva and the Hungry Tigress"? Maybe just carve out religion altogether. I don't know. I want to resist the impulse to just teach what I like, but... Maybe these stories would make more sense in some sort of context.

Especially now that I'm in summer-mode I have to constantly remind myself why I shouldn't just teach The Zombie Survival Guide- it would be a lot more fun, it would lend itself to inter-disciplinary activities, and I'm interested in them... zombies, that is. Heck, it could save their lives! Wouldn't students ultimately get more out of something I personally love? No. Probably not. For the same reason you didn't get anything out of that course requirement as an undergrad in which the teacher lectured more about her family than her subject matter. Just because it's interesting to you doesn't mean it will be interesting to them. There has to be a more substantial reason to have it on the syllabus. In this case we have to ask - is it a piece that defines the genre? How can you ask that question of scripture? My gut tells me to leave scripture of the main world religions out entirely, which, as a result, probably means no Milton, Dante, etc. I don't know. I'll probably change my mind next week.

Until then, onward. I'm considering the pre-cursors to Realism next. I don't know what they're called. I don't even know if I've got Realism right. Anyway, what to do with Maupassant, Saki, O'Henry? Turgenev, Anderson, Washington Irving? Are they worth considering?

How to Effectively Read and Respond to an Article

2009-06-08T08:19:00.000-07:00

I came up with these when I first started teaching. Some of my students weren't ready to choose a book for reading workshop. They were very low-level readers. My solution was to have them read a high interest magazine either in the classroom or in the tutoring area. Their assignment was to write a reaction to the article. I don't know if this kind of assignment was good or not, but these guys (mostly) would profess to hate reading, but you'd have to pry Dirt Bike magazine or Field and Stream from their cold, dead hands. After a while I wondered why I was fighting it.

Rubrics in the Creative Writing Classroom

2009-06-01T06:42:00.000-07:00

I know what you're thinking. "He's been brainwashed by those education-types." Maybe. I know that whenever anyone mentions using rubrics to assess creative work it's in jest. However, I've thought a lot about it, and here's what I came up with. I want to clarify that I use these only in "regular" english class (not fiction) when someone expresses interest in writing a story. I think rubrics can work to address some of the issues beginning writers face. Thanks goes to Kurt Vonnegut, without your wisdom this rubric would really stink.

To teach or not to teach: that is the question

2009-05-26T19:36:00.000-07:00

Part of my problem with teaching high school literature, any kind of survey course, is that they tend to be a mile wide and an inch deep. There's a real lack of aesthetic and thematic focus throughout the year. Students may tend to see these courses as a hodgepodge, or worse, as a helping of everything you, personally, think is groovy or morally instructive. In order to survive in the HS classroom, one must be an eminent salesperson, and I think, even if I don't personally like the piece we're studying, I can sell its good qualities. Understand it. Forget loving it. High schoolers can, at best, be the least sentimental of critics, and, at worst, openly hostile. There are a lot of things in life that are considered uncool, and literature seems to be one of them.

I am cool with this.

The teacher of literature needs to make peace with the fact that students will probably think great literature (and YOU by virtue of having taught it), is lame. Teachers may respond in a variety of ways. 1) "Hey, do you think I LIKE teaching this crap?" Not a good idea. It may be Machiavellian to get students to sympathize with your plight, but I think there's something unethical about bashing the material. 2) The way some parents want to be their kid's friend, some teachers will try and find material that may be more "hip" than the canon. Usually these books can be found on the shelves at Target. This CAN work. Sometimes. In the long run, it's like parents trying to "hang out" with their kids. Chances are they're going to appreciate the effort, but find someone cooler all the same.

My proposal is to run at least a two tier classroom. The first tier is designed to recognize and encourage independent reading. Make time for it, at least one class period a week. I've seen classrooms that do it three times a week or so for 15 minutes, but I think one substantial session is best. During this time encourage students to hang out with their favorite books, or even just the flavor of the week. Do not sneer at their selections. Praise them for being "English Rockstars." They are, too, if they're reading. Sometimes a student will ask your humble advice. "What should I read?" Classroom libraries are important for this reason. Steer them toward something challenging but not totally overwhelming. Give an assignment at the end of class, something fun. Here are some of my favorite prompts:

Your assignment this week is to write a note to your book. Remember, I said forming a relationship with your book is like forming a relationship with the opposite sex, so your note can be a love letter praising your book for its great qualities, a warning letter outlining what is not working in the relationship, or a “Dear John” letter (a break-up letter). Regardless, your note should include some indication as to how the relationship is going, and specifically why.

__________________________________________________

React to one of the following quotes concerning books in today’s Reading Workshop. You should mention your book in your reaction.

"The public library is the most dangerous place in town.” John Ciardi
"Instead of going to Paris to attend lectures, go to the public library, and you won’t come out for twenty years, if you really wish to learn." Leo Tolstoy
"If there’s a book you really want to read but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it." Toni Morrison
"I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book." Groucho Marx
"God forbid that any book should be banned. The practice is as indefensible as infanticide." The Strange Necessity - Rebecca West
"Classic—a book people praise and don’t read." Following the Equator - Mark Twain
__________________________________________________

In the spirit of John Donne and metaphysical conceit, we’re going to think figuratively about our books this week in reading workshop. Please answer any one of following:

If your book were a building, what kind of building would it be (What would it look like? What purpose would it serve?) and why do you think this?
Or
If your book were food, what kind of food would it be and why do you think this?
Or
If your book were a bug or an animal, what kind would it be and why?
Or
If your book were a regime, what kind of regime or government would it be (communist, fascist, democratic) and why?
Or
If your book were a type of music, what type would it be, and why?
Or
Think of a metaphor of your own!

__________________________________________________

Imagine your book’s character is at a Chinese restaurant cracking their fortune cookie. What kind of message do you think they need to hear at this point in the book? Write it! Explain why you think they need to hear this.

__________________________________________________

Franz Kafka thought, “A book should be as an axe, to break the frozen sea within us.” What do you think he meant? Has your book moved you in any way emotionally thus far? Remember, in any way emotionally: anger, frustration, happiness, sadness? Pride, outrage, disappointment? Respond with specific examples.

__________________________________________________

Today we are going to appreciate the beauty of language. Don’t be afraid to let yourself be dazzled! Choose a sentence or passage from today’s reading that you admire and copy it below. Offer a brief explanation as to why you chose it.

__________________________________________________

Here's the generic reading workshop form I started with in 2002. Nothing wrong with it, it's just boring...

Reading Workshop
15 points
All sections must be complete

Name/Period: _________________
Book Title: __________________
Date: ________________________
Pages Read Today: ____________

Part One:

Summary
A summary is a brief (a few sentences) retelling of what you read

__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________

Part Two:
Chose One of the following options:

Write a question that you have about what is happening.

Pick and write a particularly well-written sentence.

Make a prediction about what is going to happen.

__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________

The goal should be to finish a book. When finished, the student must write a response by a certain date. I allow five different responses: New Critical, Reader Response, Biographical Inquiry, Historical Inquiry, and Creative Writing.

Here's an example of how I grade a Reader Response paper:

I have the other rubrics for the other types of writing. E-mail me if you want a copy oh audience of my imagination.

So, Reading Workshop is a great time. Read with your students, converse, circle up and share. It's the time you get to "hang out" with readers.

The question of what to teach students in a literature course (I say teach because Reading Workshop really isn't direct instruction) is a troubling one. Flannery O' Connor addressed this question in an essay called "The Teaching of Literature," and she proposed that a teacher not cater to a pupil's taste, but, by teaching demanding works from the canon, help to form their tastes. Doing both in the same class can be difficult. On one hand, you've just had a great discussion with a student about a Stephen King novel, or something by Jodie Picoult and now you expect them to read Dostoevsky or Sophocles. HEY, THIS ISN'T FAIR! I THOUGHT WE WERE PALS! ....it's a tenuous relationship, but I think it's important to make the distinction between reading for pleasure and reading for scholarship, and it's something I'm definitely going to address on day one next year with seniors.

So, what should the serious teacher of literature choose to teach? I think the answer begins with books that both challenge but reward in some way. For me a lot of these books can be found on my profile page, but some of them are Crime and Punishment, Dubliners, Heart of Darkness, Oedipus & Antigone, Siddhartha, For Whom the Bell Tolls, Moby Dick, Native Son, Blood Meridian... the problem seems to be that I can't think of many women writers. The two books that come to mind are My Antonia and Mrs. Dalloway. Maybe I just haven't read enough women writers. This is starting to feel like a hodgepodge! Where's the thematic continuity? I think a good idea would be to read formative/representative works of genre: novel, novella, short-story, short-short?, what about the fairy tale?, poetry, memoir. What's a representative or formative book of poetry? Are writers like Edson and Barthleme too zany and postmodern for the classroom?

New Cover!

2009-05-10T06:48:00.001-07:00

Fecundity!

2009-05-07T18:18:00.001-07:00

So if you just keep plugging away...

My students have been dazzling me with their insights into Heart of Darkness. Teaching great works of literature is like leading a group therapy session... I have a little more experience with the books, but I feel as if they're such eminent works of art that I'm stuck dealing with them just as much as the students feel stuck dealing with them. Sometimes I feel like, oh god, I'm all alone in the conversation of this book, so I have to keep up a running monologue until someone in the class takes a plunge. I know this isn't the most effective way of teaching, but it happens. I was dazzled on many levels today by what seniors were saying about this book! I finally felt, for the first time really, that I can rock back on my heels and enjoy the experience of teaching it... like I'm not scared they're not going to get it, if that makes sense. I end up saying and doing a lot of strange things because of the fear of them not getting it. For instance the other day (in ernest) I drew a heart on the chalkboard and labeled it "heart," then colored in a dark patch and wrote "darkness." It wasn't until the end of the day that I saw it up there and cracked up. Diagrams?! What would the diagram be for Meditation 17, or Oedipus? One student made me feel better when she said that she thought my illustration should replace the cover art.

Spring 2009 Northeast Ohio MFA Graduate Reading

2009-05-03T16:41:00.001-07:00

What better day to post than National Teacher Day?
Thank you all for sharing your talents.

Stop and Smell the Fertilizer

2009-04-19T13:18:00.000-07:00

So I smell like fertilizer because I just finished spreading a bag on my yard. It's a good smell; bright and somehow lively. I like yardwork because often, while I'm mowing or raking leaves, trimming trees, or cutting wood (I still have some logs to split from the chestnut), I don't think about anything. Not thinking about anything is preferable to thinking about something in my book, and I like anything that takes me to that kind of place. I like watching the granules drop through the spreader onto the grass (it never seems like enough), and I'm just some boring guy taking care of his yard, and that's okay. I think the key is resignation. I often feel like I'm in a hurry all the time during spring: so much so, I don't get a chance to enjoy it; and BOOM, the kids are graduated, it's summer, and my schedule has been completely cleared. It's kind of like stepping off a cliff.

Rushing... I was trying to blow my nose at a stoplight today and the light turned green before I could do it and I had to drive; it's this kind of feeling that causes stress. For me at least. Yardwork is a great cure for stress. That is, unless you feel like you have to do it. Like maybe because your neighbors are getting sick of your leaves, or weeds, or whatever. No, if you're doing it just because you want to... that's what I'm talking about. There's perhaps nothing quite so gratifying as mowing the yard. It's probably one of the dumbest chores human beings have invented, but if you can look past all that and just live in the moment of pushing the machine you'll see what I mean. Probably, you already know.

Spring Break 2009

2009-04-13T17:48:00.001-07:00

It's Called Gratitude

2009-03-18T17:39:00.000-07:00

I've been very busy with thesis work-that, and reading David Mitchell's Cloud Atlas-so I haven't been blogging, but I just read on NPR that there were more births in 2007 than in any year in our nation's history-even more than the Baby Boom generation. This fact gives me pause for several reasons. 1) I think, hooray! Wyatt will have a ton of playmates. 2) People are doing a better job at taking care of the planet, but the question is- how much better? We, as in Carrie and I, use disposable diapers. I am aware that this may be bad for the environment, but I secretly feel that some folks don't have anything else in their lives to worry about... this probably makes me a callus ass. But here's an example of what I'm talking about ... one of my friends was trying to tell me that the little faux-bubbles in Bath and Body Works hand soap travel down the drain through the sewer and into the ocean to choke little fishies. I had to put my hand up to stop- leave a message at the snap. I guess I can only worry about so much during the day. And on the diaper issue, all I can think of is the Saturday Night Live skit for chewable Pampers. I know people who think this would be a good idea. 3) We stopped at a fast food chain for dinner tonight after Wyatt's nine month pictures. It tasted really good because it's been literally years since I've been to one, but I couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt in my gut (maybe it was the slice of cheesecake) as I dumped plastic forks, straws, Styrofoam cups, sandwich bubbles, napkins, etc into the trash. I wanted to ask them if they recycle. This particular establishment is reputable for its charitable programs to help married couples stay married and help maintain some sort of stability for foster kids. I was wondering if all that energy going to help people could be negated by landfills full of their trash.

Why am I having these kind of thoughts? When I was younger I couldn't have given a damn-in fact, I used to LITTER! (that's right, just toss that bag of fast food refuge out the window) that is until an older friend gave me a hot reaming for it and I realized he was right. I haven't littered since. I'd like to think I'm relatively considerate of the environment- I insist on fuel efficiency, I recycle, I use those fluorescent, incandescent light bulbs. I guess maybe I'm wondering what kind of world Wyatt will grow up in with all those people. Kids are really into the green push too. I have students who started a Recycling initiative at our school; I'm thinking of a really bright young man that wants to study environmental engineering, others that volunteer to support politicians whom advocate for the environment. I think there's definitely hope. Kids today are more inclined to think green.

Just today I overheard a Junior talking about Darfur. Some of my kids are reading books like Not on Our Watch on their own. It was a student whom educated me about child soldiering. This girl has been to Africa, and is going over again to help reform child soldiers. So many others want to teach...

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not always a stellar human being, but I certainly feel privileged to teach such conscientious youth. I don't know where I (or our world) would be without them. It gives me hope to think Wyatt will live in a better world. With any luck he'll help to make it that way.

Heel or Ball?

2009-03-01T07:21:00.000-08:00

I'm reading Joan Silber's Ideas of Heaven for Imad's 20th Century Fiction class right now, and boy is it good. It's easy to write about children's books and sound smart, but national book award finalists... The one smart thing I have to say is that some people's prose is leisurely, like it walks on its heels. This book definitely gets up on the balls. When I ran track in high school we started every practice with a warm up mile, ran as a team. After I started to place in events, I tried taking some tips from the fastest kid on our squad- he said he ran the entire warm up on the balls of his feet. Just thinking about it now seems like another lifetime, but if you're going to write a "ring of stories," a ring resembling a track, you could do worse than to get the prose up on the balls of its feet.

I think of other books that do this-Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones comes shooting out of the blocks and then it hunkers back on its heels for a long distance jaunt through the lives of the characters affected by Susie Salmon's murder. I think the secret to writing this way is to know exactly what it is you're writing and writing it-the heck with suspense. It's weird how doing away with suspense can be even more gripping than stringing the reader along, but sometimes mazes get boring. It's really hard to go through a maze on the balls of your feet. You'll, no doubt, end up crashing into something.

Maybe it's because Ideas of Heaven is an assigned text that I am enjoying the quick pace. I tend to read assigned books quickly (probably the wrong way to do it), searching for something that grabs me on a human level as opposed to a craft level. Normally I like laid back in prose and in life-it's why I take baths instead of showers if I have the time, and it's why, most of the time, I walk on my heels. I can do laid back if it's an audiobook- something that I'm going to have to spend a month with while driving in to school- something parceled out in hour segments. I did Gone With the Wind this way and it took about three and a half months. I just finished Jodie Picoult's Nineteen Minutes this way-with that book I think I would have been tempted to put it down if it had been in my hands, but having the audio there pacing right along despite my shouts of "Are you serious!" and "Come on!" (what normal people probably holler at the referee while watching sports on TV). I enjoyed the story-it was better than the alternative-radio talk, or songs I have already digested into nothingness-but it didn't impress me on a sentence level.

The only audio book that engaged me enough to pop out of the car stereo and bring inside to finish was Cormac McCarthy's The Crossing. That story has suspense and beautiful sentences; it's not told in a breakneck fashion, and the chapters are rather long if I remember, but it hit all the right buttons. Kid + wolf = interest.

I suppose I could ask you out there, oh imaginary audience, what you prefer in terms of the speed with which a story is told, or whether, if the story is good, it even matters.

Children's Book Review: Cause and Effect

2009-02-27T07:14:00.000-08:00

Both If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, and Goodnight Gorilla are children’s books that teach cause and effect in very different ways. If You Give A Mouse a Cookie claims that if you do indeed give a mouse a cookie, then he’ll want a glass of milk, and then he’ll want a straw, when he’s done, he’ll want a napkin, then he’ll want a mirror to make sure he doesn’t have a milk moustache, then he’ll see his whiskers needs trimmed so he’ll ask for a pair of scissors, then he’ll want a broom to sweep up the trimmings, then he might get carried away and sweep every room in the house, then he’ll want to go to bed so you’ll need to fix him a place to sleep in a shoebox, then he’ll want a story, then he’ll get excited at the pictures in your book and want supplies to draw one of his own, then he’ll want a pen to sign his name, then he’ll want scotch tape to hang up the picture…looking at the fridge will remind him he’s thirsty, so he’ll ask for a glass of milk.

The boy who caters to the mouse’s whims is dirty and exhausted by the end of the book and would’ve saved himself a lot of trouble, seemingly, if he had not given the mouse a cookie in the first place.

This book annoyed me on several levels. First, I thought of a quote from Deuteronomy 15:7-8, 11

"If there is a needy person among you, one of your kinsmen in any of your settlements in the land that the Lord your God is giving you, do not harden your heart and shut your hand against your needy kinsman. Rather you must open your hand and lend him sufficient resources for whatever he needs. For the poor will never disappear from the earth, which is why I command you: open your hand to the poor and needy kinsman in your land.”

Maybe I’m taking this a bit far…I don’t know. What harm can children’s books do? Well, a lot, I think. See The Poisonous Mushroom. I guess I was thinking of how prevalent the quote from Deuteronomy is supposed to be in Jewish communities, and then I thought of anti-Semetic propaganda like The Poisonous Mushroom. It’s unclear if the mouse in this book represents any ethnic people(s), but the story seems to be a critiquing the kind of generosity and open-door-policy most religious texts intend to inspire.

To further complicate my relationship with this book is the notion that it may be a critique of the welfare system… like Reganomics for kids, or something like that. Even more ironic is this notion that Conservatives and Neo-Cons alike are supposed to be religious. If that were wholly true, what about Deuteronomy? I'm familiar with the old cliche' "Give a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach a man to fish, and he'll eat for a lifetime," but I can imagine that if the boy in this story had to first get out flour, eggs, sugar, chocolate chips, baking rack, Crisco, that the tone of the narrative wouldn't change.

Goodnight Gorilla offers a more subtle lesson in cause and effect and manages to remain inoffensive to yours truly. The story goes like this: A gorilla swipes a zookeeper’s keyring as he passes by saying goodnight to all the animals. On the first page the gorilla lets himself out of his cage, a mouse uses a balloon string (setting the balloon free) and ties it to a banana, and they follow the zookeeper (Joe) on his rounds, letting out all the animals—elephant, giraffe, lion, hyena, armadillo, until they all follow him into his bedroom and hunker down to sleep. His wife says “goodnight,” and all the animals respond. She wakes up, alarmed and leads them all back to the zoo, with the exception of the gorilla and the mouse, who sneak back with her. In the end, the gorilla and mouse climb into bed with the zookeeper and his wife and the mouse says goodnight gorilla, but the gorilla is already asleep because he ate the banana the mouse had been dragging along with the balloon string. The end. The cool thing about this book is that the balloon floats farther and farther away in each frame, so you can make a game of hunting for it as the story unfolds. It’s a neat thread that kind of ties the book together, and the story is one that does not encourage niggardliness in the reader. I'm not even going to approach the ethnic critique, because I really don't think either story warrants one... I'll leave the offensive inferences to the New York Post.

Children's Book Review: Rainbow Rob

2009-02-23T11:31:00.000-08:00

I’m a big fan of Rainbow Rob. Rob is a penguin whom one day glances up from his glacier to see a rainbow in the sky. This sets him to wondering why, of all the beautiful colors in the spectrum, is he stuck with black and white? He then daydreams about being orange, like an Orangutan in a jungle gang, a blue whale with a massive tail, a green crocodile with a snappy smile, a pink flamingo from San Domingo, etc. In the end he decides he would not be happy as anything other than what he is—a black and white penguin. Besides, badger, zebra and raccoon (what? No skunk?) come to the rescue to show Rob that black and white is okay.

Maybe it’s because I feel smart when I read baby books; usually they present the world as one with a natural order, definable morals and usually, they end happily. The pictures in Rainbow Rob are fuzzy, crinkly, shiny, etc. so your little one can reach and touch the pages. The book runs about twelve bucks and I recommend it to anyone hoping to enjoy a simple story with their newborn.

It’s okay to be black and white. It’s okay to be you.

Characterization as action

2009-02-20T14:05:00.000-08:00

Have a character use an item intended for one specific purpose for a purpose other than that for which it was originally intended. See what happens. Could be a sentence, could be a story. Could be both.

magic metaphors

2009-02-10T19:22:00.000-08:00

This one works in a snap and can produce some interesting results.

Have students brainstorm lists of the following types of words.

Abstract Nouns

Specific Colors

Concrete Nouns

Apply the formula:

AN + SC + CN = Metaphor

(Abstract Noun + Specific Color + Concrete Noun = Metaphor)

encourage them to pick their favorite(s), then add…

+ That or Which + What it does (Description) + end with And or But…

when in doubt, do a group sestina

2009-02-06T12:14:00.000-08:00

This is an excerpt from Lorrie Moore's Anagrams. Sometimes I feel like this teacher. Having read this, planning to steal it as an in-class exercise, I know I'm this teacher.

"The six end words had been chosen by the students themselves: arm-hair, Spam, motor-cycle, plie, lounge, crash-helmet. The teacher wrote them on the board. The in-class assignment involved writing on a sheet of paper one line with the appropriate end-word and then passing it to the left. By the end of the period they would have twenty sestinas and everyone would have contributed. The members of the class were having a good time. The teacher could hear their giggles and their scribbling. It was a party game. It was ludicrous. It was the only way she knew how to teach."

Children's Book Review: The Dead Bird

2009-02-01T09:14:00.000-08:00

The Dead Bird is a story in which four friends find a dead bird, bury it, conduct a service, and go back to playing. I checked it out from the library when we took Wyatt on Saturday. With the exception of Grimm's and traditionals like "The Worms Crawl In" rarely do words aimed at children attempt to breach the topic of death. I've had an idea for a kid's book about death. Here it is: a kid has a goldfish. Goldfish dies. They create a ritual for flushing the goldfish down the toilet. The child's grandmother dies. The child expects that she will be flushed down the toilet. Awkward final picture.

Very sensitive, I know.

This story is by Margaret Wise Brown, the author of Goodnight Moon, and it's sensitive in a way my idea is not.

It was stocked with the baby books in the library. There's no suggested age on my copy. But I'm conflicted. Part of me thinks this is a really gorgeous book, but there's another part of me that remembers something the bad guy says in The Crow: "Childhood is over the moment you realize you're going to die." I'm not sure it's so simple. Like, who's to say the Grim Reaper couldn't take a seat next to the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus? I mean, shouldn't we use all available resources to try and come to our own terms with the mystery of life? Isn't that one of the goals of literature?

I applaud The Dead Bird, but don't think it's a bedtime story... like the one about the moon. Maybe this is a book to keep on the shelf until your little one is old enough to take it down and read it for themselves? A book for the day your child finds a dead bird? Maybe it's a book that could help a child begin to realize that death is part of life.

There's something else about this book that's interesting to me. It's not religious, really. The children find a way to have a service, but they don't wonder about the afterlife, they wrap the bird in grapevine leaves and put it in the ground. They don't use a cross. They cover it in ferns, and white violets, and yellow star flowers. They plant geraniums, but the geraniums fade. Another echo of the life cycle. Think I'll hunt down my own copy of this book, but I'll probably stick with Goodnight Gorilla at bedtime.

De-Familiarize the Familiar*

2009-01-30T11:49:00.000-08:00

All right, I realize these are crazy, but here’s the newest. This came together as a result of three separate things. 1) Imad was talking about Gordon Lisch, and one of his revision assignments was to go count the number of sentences in your story, go to a bar or a restaurant or something, and write down ten or so random numbers between 1 and the number of sentences in your story. The revision was to eliminate those sentences. 2) I was helping a student to write a sonnet, and had her do some free writing on a topic of interest, and she wrote words and phrases having to do with religion, so I started thinking of holy numbers, 3, 6, 7, 9, 33 etc. We paired those words and came up with some interesting results. 3) I had my juniors read “Thanatopsis” today.

Here’s the assignment.

Write DEATH at the top of a piece of paper and, for five minutes, free-write a list of words and/or phrases that come to mind.

Count the number of words and/or phrases. Write the number at the top of the page. Students had any number from 10 to 165.

Get a partner. Have your partner give two random numbers from 1 to the number written at the top of your page. Find the two corresponding words and/or phrases and go nuts combining them. See what you get. Some Results: Teabags of Darkness, Skull Popsicle, Bewildered Justice, Dirt Finger, Murder Crayons, Rough Cape.

Finally, explain The Directive (something "Thanatopsis" is desperately in need of). Have students turn their phrase into a directive. Steep those teabags of darkness, lick the skull Popsicle, slap bewildered justice, kiss the dirt finger, snap the murder crayons, touch death’s rough cape.

*Something Elton Glaser says is one of the goals of poetry

The Third Person

2009-01-29T05:05:00.001-08:00

Step outside of your own body and view yourself the way an outsider might, or the way you might view one of your own characters. Once you have achieved this psychic distance, pick up a pen or pencil.

Describe, in detail, your morning routine, in third person.

This exercise may answer the following…
How do you get out of bed?
How do you comb your hair? (Describing this is harder than you imagined, isn’t it?)
How do you greet those around you? What is said?
Chores?
Be sure to pay particularly close attention to the way the person moves, what they say, etc.

Follow Up

1)What words (if any) can I eliminate?

2)What is the story?

*Taken from Dorothea Brande

List Poetry

2009-01-27T09:59:00.000-08:00

There are two lessons for writing list poetry here, using two of Ray Carver's poems-"The Car" and "Fear."

Drills for Skillz—Guided Portrait

2009-01-26T18:35:00.000-08:00

Here’s one that’s sure to get something going on.

Think of someone for whom you have strong feelings, or whom is part of a strong or vivid memory. For younger writers, it may be apropos to list feelings other than the obvious: admiration/respect, infatuation, disgust, envy, longing, embarrassment, etc. If you want, give some examples of your own strong memories. If your students are unsure how to begin, you may want to model some brainstorming—I tend to have them crank this one out without too much prewriting. I tell them, “Don’t think too hard.” I’m not sure if this is a good or bad strategy.

"Visualize the person. Bring the scene of the memory into focus in your mind’s eye."

Prompts

Your first line should contain a proper noun.

Your second line should be longer than five words and contain a color.

Your third line should mention a specific place.

Your fourth line should be a question, and should contain a verb.

Your fifth line should be less than three words long.

Your sixth and seventh lines should be an exchange of dialogue.

Your eighth line should contain a concrete noun.

Your ninth line should contain a comparison.

Your tenth line should be a directive.

The writing may only take five minutes or so. Ask them to circle their three favorite lines. Ask them to underline their least favorite line. If you’re working with a small group, you may have the time to share within the group; use pair shares with larger classes. Encourage students to talk about what they like about the lines they circled, and maybe what they don't like about those they have underlined.

Follow-up

Have students type a new draft of the poem. Encourage them to play to the draft's strengths. Encourage them to write more if they feel more would strengthen the poem.

Encourage students to form a title for their poems using words from the body.
For example, “Your title should contain a noun from the poem as well as a color.”

Encourage students to share their results.

Drills for Skillz-Dialogue Writing Exercise

2009-01-08T12:08:00.000-08:00

Adolescence is a strange time that calls for even stranger writing prompts. Here's today's lesson.*

You'll Need
Many squares of three different colored paper (we used Blue, Orange and Red)

A group of imaginative adolescents

Paper, pencil

Step One

Write on the blue square the name of a cartoon character or a puppet... someone or something that aims their words at children.

Collect the squares

Write on the orange square the name of a real person that aims their words toward adults.

Collect the squares

Write a controversial topic or media issue that people feel strongly about on the red paper.

Collect the squares

Step Two

Redistribute the squares at random. Each student should have a blue one, orange one, red one. Write for ten minutes a dialogue between the two characters on the controversial topic.

Be prepared for:

Bugs Bunny discussing illegal immigration with Clint Eastwood

Papa Smurf talking with Carmen Electra about gay marriage

Baby Bop talking to Ellen about mad cow disease

*This idea was inspired by a play from The Best Teen Writing of 2008 in which Cookie Monster talks with Oprah about childhood obesity.

Friend and Colleague

2009-01-07T18:04:00.000-08:00

When You are Old

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

-W.B Yeats

Here's to you, Lisa

Visiting Writer: Emily Dressler

2008-12-19T17:04:00.000-08:00

Emily Dressler obtained her MFA in 2008 and teaches writing courses at the University of Akron. Emily was copy editor for the Buchtelite as well as editor of the Akros Review for a number of years. Emily served a brief stint at Brown Mackie College and the International Institute. She is currently a fiction editor for the national journal, Barn Owl Review. Emily was runner up in The Atlantic Monthly college fiction contest and was recognized as a Coulter Emerging Writer by the University of Akron. Emily's story "The Bloody Nose" will appear in 10,000 Tons of Black Ink. Emily lives in Kent with her boyfriend Rob, cat Potato, and turtle, Spike. For a brief time Emily cared for a black baby squirrel. Emily was a vegetarian, but because she was too poor to afford to discriminate, she now considers herself a Freegan—someone who prefers free food*

Matt pointed out that his brother's turtle is named Soup. Emily felt this was a superior name.

Emily read the story "The Drought." The story was one in a series of stories following a central character, Helen, through childhood, young womanhood, and eventually, adulthood. Emily emphasized that the collection was not a novel and while perhaps the storyline would be more complete if it were conceived as such, she's not ready to write a novel, nor does she want to think of the Helen stories as a collection aspiring to be a novel.

"The Drought" follows Helen during the summer after her mother moves out. It is a story that has both a first kiss and a dead body. Helen spends a lot of her time with a boy named Alan, with whom she shares the kiss. They swim often in a pond behind the Edgerly's house. It is here where the kiss happens; it is here where Helen and Alan view Mr. Edgerly hanging from a tree, socks inside out. "It's not a mystery story," Emily said. Sometimes people stop loving for no reason at all, whether they stop loving a spouse the way Helen's mom stopped loving, or the way Mr. Edgerly stopped loving life itself.

Tony thought the awkwardness of Helen and Alan's first kiss was very romantic.

Emily talked about how she came up with the story. She admitted the spark came partially from reading two plays: one called "The Quare Fellow," which made her think of the phrase "hangman's daughter."

"It stuck with me," Emily said. Another play gave her the image of a man waiting by a hearth. Emily admits that the creative process is mysterious and urged the fiction students to use their own method of storytelling: "Even if it isn't a strategy, if it works for you, go with it."

Tony liked the story, and admitted that Emily must be very creative to have conceived "The Drought" in such a way. Tony confessed that most of his stories come from dreams, though he is working hard on a story about real life. Emily agreed that this was a good idea.

Emily confessed to writing a story that centered around Mrs. Edgerly after her husband's suicide. In the story Mrs. Edgerly sets out all her dead husband's things for a neighborhood garage sale.

We discussed in-class writing exercises, and because I have a tendency to assign a lot of them, I asked Emily if she thought they were a waste of time.

Emily agreed that all writing, formal or informal probably informs your serious work, but felt that a lot of in-class writing assignments could be crossing the line. Emily credits Eric Wasserman with assigning an in-class exercise that helped her understand her own story "What it Means." The exercise is: Imagine your character as the opposite sex. What do they want?

We discussed workshop. Geneva felt that sometimes workshop can be discouraging. Emily replied, "So can driving to work in the morning, getting out of bed, showering, tying your shoes. Especially tying your shoes."

* red meat, free or not, is out of the question.

Thanks for your reading, Emily!

Visiting Writer: Rick Strong

2008-12-12T08:47:00.000-08:00

Rick Strong taught high school English at Padua for two years, and Junior High English at Columbiana County. Rick went to Law School at Case Western Reserve University. He was a trial lawyer representing doctors, hospitals, rail roads and car manufacturers for many years, and recently completed his MFA. Rick taught composition during his MFA process and now teaches composition at The University of Akron and writing at the law school. Rick’s wife taught first grade in the Brunswick school district, and his daughter works for an environmental organization. Rick has one dog (Casey), one cat, and drives a Toyota Prius.

I found out more about Rick’s fascinating life over a Greek Salad in the café. Rick worked in an aluminum foundry, an emergency room, and at a McDonalds, among other places.

Though Rick considers himself a writer with a lower case “w,” he read a piece composed in a Cleveland State workshop under the guidance of Sheila Schwartz titled “The Shovel.” The assignment was to write about an object. Rick’s piece opens with a man who has fallen on some icy steps and hit his head. The individual, we discover, is a retired lineman who had taken some things before bowing out: a chainsaw, a picnic table, a coal shovel, among other items. He tells the reader that he took the items because he felt as if they were his due. For service. For instance, he was once almost crushed by a falling tree while clearing debris after an ice storm. It becomes clear that he sees his rights to these items as some form of hazard pay.

The narrative is retrospective, so we learn that he came to repent and feared reprisals of the spiritual variety, therefore under twinges of conscience, gave the stolen items away either to Goodwill, the Haven of Rest, or, in the case of the picnic table, a needy boy-scout troupe. The coal shovel, on the other hand, was chucked into a river. It’s a shame, we’re told, because those shovels last forever. It’s also a shame because the narrator had used the shovel to clear the ice from his steps, and its absence is the indirect consequence of his fall.

It seemed as if the short showed a man who had felt his duty as a linesman entitled him to certain perks. It’s unclear if the story is a morality tale or not—if we are to interpret it as such, “though shall not steal” seems to be the proverb that rises to the top, yet it’s the narrator’s conscience that seems to get him in trouble. If he hadn’t felt rotten about taking the shovel in the first place, he never would’ve felt the need to toss it into a river, and his steps would not be icy. Such a clever Catch- 22 for such a short piece.

Rick designed an in-class writing assignment for my fiction students. Students chose objects from a box—items included a mini-flashlight (my item), Christmas candy, a gold coin (“Can I keep it?” one student inevitably asked, but returned it all the same at the end of the period), a mini-cassette, a cell phone, a small hammer, a yellow Livestrong bracelet, a chew toy, a tennis ball, etc. The students were directed to write a short that revolved around the object (I think of Chekhov’s ashtray) and were encouraged to use a character they know well from their other stories. We wrote for a good 20 minutes, and I’m looking forward to see what comes from the exercise.

In the meantime, Rick, like the rest of us, is working toward being a writer with a capital “W.”

Thanks for the reading and the lesson, Rick!

Visiting Writer: Dawson Steeber

2008-12-07T16:11:00.000-08:00

Dawson Steeber has a degree in fiction writing from the Northeastern Ohio Universities Masters of Fine Arts Program. Dawson was accepted into the Academy of American Poets in 2008, and was awarded a Coulter award for emerging writers in 2006. Dawson is a fiction editor for the Barn Owl Review and teaches for the University of Akron. A little known fact about Dawson is that he once traveled from Vancouver, British Columbia to Eugene, Oregon in the trunk of a ’77 Pontiac Grand Prix (see interview). Dawson is originally from Western Pennsylvania, and has spent the majority of his life wandering in a nomadic fashion. He has recently settled in Akron where he lives with his wife and son Giovanni.

Can I say this about Dawson? He fits in. He seemed more at home in my school than me! …and I’ve been there since 2002. To know Dawson is to know exactly what I’m talking about. He seemed old friends with the hall monitors, knew a visitor in the Cosmetology lab, and chatted up the graphics and auto body instructors. Anyway, Dawson, a lifetime laborer, seemed very at home within a vocational school; he asked the assistant diesel instructor some questions that might take a few hours on the Internet and a couple volumes of Chilton’s service manuals to decode.

Dawson read a new story called “In the Coming Days” to my senior fiction writing class and allowed them to offer constructive criticism. The story follows a character, Nelson, through a difficult time in his life. We learn that Nelson struggles with drinking, and that his pregnant wife has left him.

Geneva said the story was “Very descriptive. Like a snake.” Geneva compared the beginning of the story with the movie “The Mist.”

Matt said the narrative thread of the story was that the “wife left.” Nichole thought the narrative thread was Nelson’s drinking problem. Someone pointed out that the story was pretty long, and Dawson put his head down and sighed. “This is one of the shortest things I’ve got!” Nichole said she enjoyed the story so much she’d read more.

Someone said “More action!” Casey pointed out that this piece starts in the middle of the action, with a fallen tree, and the fact that Nelson gets cut on a broken bottle of bourbon created the potential for metaphor… He bandages his cut hand (with gauze and duct tape), yet tears the wrapping off before the wound has healed… by following the advice of another older character in the story, he “lets it bleed.” Casey pointed out that this could be considered evidence that Nelson has difficulty acknowledging the severity of old wounds and therefore has difficulty healing.

I appreciated the phrase “let it bleed,” and though The Byrds are mentioned, we get an echo of the Stones.

When prodded later over a “not just any” turkey sandwich and a cup of “dueling cheddar” soup, Dawson credited his interest in books (dirty realism in general) with the German born American poet and novelist Charles Bukowski. Dawson claimed to have disliked reading until he encountered Bukowski. “If it weren’t for books, I’d probably be dead,” he said with a sardonic grin. “Or in prison. Books saved me. Well, books and my wife.”

Thanks Dawson! The reading and conversation was essential!