Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Day Two

Usually the immersion from day one is still wearing off: probably what goldfish feel like when they get dumped out of those little plastic bags and into the tank...

I've heard a theory stressing that some teachers fall into the "entertainer" group. In other words, they feel the need to make sure everyone in class is laughing and their lessons could double as stand-up comedy routines. I've heard the rule "don't smile until Christmas," and inevitably, these folks are making jokes or telling ridiculous stories on the first day.

Some good natured goof-ups:

To an 8th period class: "So, I'm married and we have a dog. The dog's a cute little fluff-ball. Since we're the last class of the day it's up to you guys to make sure I go home happy. Otherwise I might put the boot to my pooch."

To a low level group of language learners, ages 16-18: "Reading is awesome. When it's good you see all kinds of funky stuff. Like drugs. Only, cheaper."

Band director: "Whatever you do, make sure those instruments are cleaned regularly. You don't want to end up with a rusty trombone."

To Freshmen: "So if you have to use the bathroom, I recommend holding it. I hear there are no doors on the stalls, and this whole wing files in there during tornado drills."

The last one will keep them from asking to use the bathroom, the first one may keep your eighth period in line, the second one might involve the inside of your Principal's office, and the one about the trombone, well. Even the best of us have been known to blow it big-time.

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